Foof's Video Game Review

2011-09-11T08:36:00.001-07:00

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that every time you mention Deus Ex, someone will reinstall it. Or so the meme goes. You don’t need me rattling off a load of clichés about how revolutionary and amazing Deus Ex was, with its level of choice, gritty sci-fi aesthetic and brilliant acting (‘You’re gonna burn alright.’). Besides, after you give Human Revolution a shot, there’s a good chance you’ll go back and try the original again anyway, as Human Revolution is so immersive, you’ll immediately want to play the other games. Even Invisible War! Maybe.

For the uninitiated though, Deus Ex: Human Revolution is a stealth action RPG that takes place in a near future dystopia. You’ll find yourself wandering around grittily-realised city streets (they act as hub worlds that have their own side missions) and infiltrating heavily guarded fortifications. Chronologically it’s the first game in the series, meaning the developers can ignore how increasingly apeshit the plot in the other games became and start the proceedings from a more sober angle. It’s 2027, a few decades before the first game. The use of electronic enhancements is rife, and tensions between ‘naturals’ and the augmented are coming to a head. Naturally it all largely takes place at night, in moody run-down backstreets, neon signs and street lamps providing the only illumination for your chap to scowl around.

Speaking of which, he’s called Adam Jensen. Jensen’s a proper Adonis, a finely coiffured, stony-faced psychopath. He’s got absolutely no sense of humour and is more likely to crack your face in than crack a joke. It’s probably no coincidence either that he bears a passing resemblance to the original game’s very own stony faced psycho JC Denton, although Jensen isn’t half as unintentionally funny as JC was. He also sounds a lot like Seth Bullock, meaning I can cheaply shoehorn in an unnecessary reference to Deadwood.

Jensen’s all human at the start, but as gaming convention dictates he won’t stay that way, as he has lots of lovely robotic abilities to gain throughout the 25 or so hours it will take him to figure out what’s up. As with most action RPGs, you can’t just apply your upgrades willy nilly. You have to decide what you want Adam to specialise in. You can turn him into a stealthy mofo, a hacker that’d make even Lulzsec quake in their boots, or a bloody killing machine. It’s absolutely up to you.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution is basically fantastic, and is probably one of the most engrossing games you’ll play this year. A lot of this is down to the world itself. If Resident Evil 4 is the El Topo of videogames, then Deus Ex: Human Revolution is the Blade Runner. Obviously. There’s a genuine sense (particularly in the hub worlds) that you’re wandering around a place that’s been degraded by man’s hubris. This feeling of decay is bolstered by a mournful, synth-led soundtrack and the game’s art style, blanketed in a saturated gold hue. On a superficial level it helps separate Deus Ex from the myriad of washed out looking military shooters. On another level though it buttresses with cynical, apocalyptic glee just how bad things have gotten in this world. The gold hue shows that man has gleefully pissed all over any semblance of humanity in the name of technological progress. A more elegant example is probably that the colour scheme is almost sun-drenched, as if to say mankind is flying too close to the sun like Icarus, and is about to fall on its fat augmented arse.

Now that I can take my pseud hat off, I can talk about how much fun it is beating up people.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution is an anomaly, in that it manages to make stealth enjoyable for people that don’t like stealth. A lot of this is down to a well implemented third-person snap-to cover system that lets you plan where and when to make your move. It’s a lot more effective than surreptitiously poking your head out in first-person and getting spotted by some eagle-eyed guard. Another fun addition is the ability to instantly take down your quarry, rather than ineffectively batter them for a while like you had to do in the first game. You can creep up to a guard, curtly press a button, then sit back and watch as Jensen proceeds to choke them. Hold the button down meanwhile, and Jensen will brutally kill the object of your derision. What’s less impressive is the way it cuts to a third-person camera during these bits. Where it makes sense for the cover system, it’s a bit jarring here. Couldn’t they have done it all in first-person like in the Chronicles of Riddick games? It felt more clinical and effective when sneaking up behind someone and snapping their neck.

Of course though, if you find sneaking a pain in the arse, you can always be a dick and shoot everyone to bits. Thing is though, it’s nowhere near as fun. Deus Ex prides itself for the level of choice it gives the player, but you always feel like it’s pushing you towards playing stealthily anyway. You get more upgrade points for sneaking about and not killing people, and going through the game blasting everything isn’t satisfying. If anything, going in guns blazing is a last resort; a means to a bloody, messy end.

Sneaking and sporadic shooting make up the meat of the action, but there’s also hacking and chatting. Throughout the world you’ll find computers that need infiltrating. You can either get into them through finding conveniently placed ebooks that some dumb bastard has used to remember his password, or use your l33t hax00R skillz to bypass security. It’s a fun little minigame, and a lot more engaging than the pipemania in Bioshock or the join the dots in Mass Effect 2. You can get yourself some nice bonuses depending on how well you perform, so it’s well worth investing in some hacking know-how. You’ll also engage NPCs who can help or hinder you dramatically. For example, there’s a chap near the start who won’t let you into a certain building unless you sweet talk him into it. Do it well and you’re in. Cock it up however and you’ll have to either blast your way in or find a separate entrance. It adds a nice bit of variety and tension for sure.

It’s with the NPCs though that I can start listing my gripes with the game. You know how in other RPGs you can hear NPCs talking about all sorts of silly stuff about their day to day lives? That doesn’t really happen in Human Revolution. Nearly every chat you overhear has something to do with augmentation or an event in the game. Fair enough, but I distinctly remember in Mass Effect 2 you could overhear bachelor parties and the like going on. Even the original Deus Ex had this, as you witnessed Gunther moaning about a vending machine. It’s all so bloody po faced too. Sure, it’s a dark grim tale about a society on the cusp of self-immolation, but it’s absolutely fine to have the odd giggle. There’s a world of difference between the relentless dourness here and the relative insanity of the criminally underrated Alpha Protocol, another stealth-focussed RPG. It too was dark in places, but it revelled in its fantastic writing, sticking in snappy one-liners with gay abandon.

This leads me onto my next gripe. The developers have undoubtedly crafted a really excellent world here, but the story they’ve crafted along with it doesn’t quite measure up. It’s engaging and serviceable, but you’ll struggle to remember anything about it a few hours after you finish. This isn’t helped by a denouement that feels frankly anticlimactic. I won’t ruin anything, but it’s typical cyberpunk conspiracy theory guff.

The biggest faux pas though is the inclusion of completely arbitrary boss fights. Imagine: you’ve snuck your way through a complex without being caught. You’ve not spent one bit of ammo or been spotted. You’re a stealth master, you’re the man, you’re… about to face-off against a bloody walking tank with a minigun on his arm. Thanks guys.

Deus Ex didn’t need boss fights. They’re probably there to add some narrative tension, but all tension disappears when you’re forced to restart a fight again for the tenth time, because you’ve been playing stealthily and all you’ve got on you is a silenced pistol. You’ll persevere through sheer bloody mindedness, but these fights are so clumsily stuck in.

It’s all subjective though. Some may like the plot and the serious tone. Some may even think the boss fights are great. What’s beyond doubt though is that Human Revolution is largely fantastic, and has swooped in to save the Deus Ex franchise like a, eh, Deus Ex Machina. Sorry.

Human Revolution is an engaging and compulsive piece of work that’ll find itself nestling near the peak of many a top 10 chart. With Mass Effect 3 postponed, this’ll be the one bit of interactive escapism that the fella in the Battlestar Galactica shirt can rely on for his kicks this year.

New Super Mario Bros Wii Guide

2009-12-05T17:25:00.000-08:00

Startling fact: this is the first traditional Mario game to appear on a console since 1991's Super Mario World. That's a huge burden to bear, as this is the exact type of game that transformed Nintendo into the worldwide juggernaut it is today. With such a grand legacy to live up to, we expected New Super Mario Bros Wii to exemplify Nintendo's creativity and unrivaled skill, but despite "New" being right there in the title, we honestly feel this is the least inspired entry to date.

The core game is precisely what you expect - guide Mario through eight themed worlds filled with spinning platforms, tricky jumps and power-ups aplenty. On paper, it sounds wonderful, as we've been dying for a 2D Mario entry for years. Unfortunately, the levels are extremely basic and lack the imagination of the NES/SNES classics. We thought the first two worlds were warming us up for some really crazy stuff later on, but even worlds five, six and seven feel more like lighthearted obstacle courses than true Mario levels. Yes, there a handful of powerfully tough areas we had to try over and over (and we're quite happy with them), but the vast majority are too simple and too short on thrills.

Nintendo might have been aware of this, as New SMB Wii is loaded with shout-outs to both Mario 3 and Mario World, two games often held up as the pinnacle of platforming. Instead of designing memorable levels, it feels like Nintendo referenced memorable levels in an attempt to win us over with nostalgia.

We're all for homages to our favorite games. Hell, that's half the fun of Smash Bros and the primary reason we buy Nintendo products. But when a game expends more energy calling out great moments of the past instead of making its own, something's wrong. It spends so much time looking back, you eventually realize just about everything found in the single player game has been done before (and better) by earlier Mario games, from level layout to boss battles to power-ups. New SMB Wii may still be competent and more fun than a large portion of Wii titles, but it pales next to its predecessors and does little to step out of their long shadow. And they're all on Virtual Console for substantially less money.

It's not just the so-so level design, either. Control, usually a 10/10 in any Mario adventure, is somewhat compromised by a motion-controlled spin jump. This is a game built around tight, precise jumps, and we ended up dying more than once because we jolted the controller a tad too hard, causing Mario to leap up into fire or spikes or fire spikes or whatever the hell else he's surrounded by at the time. You also have to shake the controller to grab and throw enemies or trigger the new propeller suit's flying ability, actions that would have been easily mapped to the Classic Controller or an old GameCube pad, saving us all a few unnecessary deaths.

Then there are downright baffling quirks we can't wrap our heads around. You can't throw items (like turtle shells) straight up as you could in Mario World. You can't store items and call them down mid-level as in both Mario World and New SMB DS (instead, you hoard items on the world map and use them pre-level as in Mario 3, a step back in our eyes). Mario himself seems to have increased inertia, slipping and sliding more often than usual. Yoshi, who was brought up as a "guess who's back!" selling point, is barely in the game at all. If memory serves, we rode the green dino no more than two or three times through the entire game.

These are admittedly minor issues, but strangely out of place for a Nintendo-crafted holiday release. Odds are most of the nine million people who buy this won't notice or care - we're sure the longtime Mario fanatics will prove us right.

When New SMB Wii was first revealed (just five months ago, btw), the key bullet point was its up-to-four-players party atmosphere. You and three pals would take control of Mario, Luigi and two Toads, and run through the entire game together in a cooperative goofabout. Sounds like a great concept, but playing it was another story.

This explains why the levels are so sparse - they're making room for three other characters and need to have them in play for the full effect. Fair enough, we can review it with that in mind. We grabbed four remotes and four adept Mario players, and at best we thought it was "OK," not uproarious or hilarious or any kind of rowdy descriptor. Each character occupies physical space, so you're constantly bumping into each other, ruining jumps, falling into pits, losing your power-ups and so on. The disharmony created by all this unintentional shoving is immensely frustrating for people who grew up honing their skills on this exact style of game, not fun. Not even in a "whoa this is so chaotic and crazy!" way.

On the other hand, this is perfect for people who don't have much invested in the series or games in general. Bumpy as it is, it's still mildly fun to jump around and playfully toss friends into pits or knock them away from items, or conversely to team up and tackle some of the bosses. Multiplayer is local-only, and roughly the same regardless of which mode you play (story, free for all or coin battle). Your enjoyment will be inversely proportional to your hardcore love of Mario.

Interestingly enough, playing with two people may be the perfect balance. You still get the team dynamic of helping each other out, and get to avoid the incessant jostling of the two extra Toads. Played solely with Mario and Luigi, this is still the weakest of the 2D Mario games, but it's notably better than going solo. If you're dead set on playing New Mario Wii, definitely grab a friend - ONE friend.

It's clear by now we're not exactly smitten with New SMB Wii. But that doesn't mean some of its finer points were lost on us. Take for example the music, which are mostly remixes of existing Mario tunes. Nothing special there, but if you watch enemies and parts of the background, they'll actually dance in sync with the beat. Small touch, but it's cute, and that helps ease the pain of trudging through yet another narrow, one-note level.

Then there are the 120 Star Coins, which can be spent on various hint movies. Most are meant to help you, either by revealing secret exits or how to rack up extra lives, but some are there just to floor you with expert playing. Here's a great one:

Most of us fly through Mario games without a second thought. Others dabble for a few days, then move on. The elite few consider Mario "the" game to break down and destroy, birthing speedruns and unbelievable feats of platforming in the process. It's cool to see Nintendo acknowledge the daredevil segment of its fanbase, even if the levels themselves are somewhat wanting.
Is it better than?

New Super Mario Bros? Not really. Both suffer from simplistic level design, but there was more boss variation on DS and the controls didn't feel as jittery. We expect more from a console Mario game; New SMB Wii feels like an upgraded DS port, not a true new game.

Super Mario Galaxy? No way. Galaxy is almost the complete opposite, bursting with ingenious new ideas, amazing visuals and occasionally breathtaking level design. It's possibly Wii's best game. New SMB Wii falls way short of that goal.

Mario Party 8? Yes. I make the comparison because, well, the four player mode isn't too far removed from a party atmosphere, and the same crowd may be drawn to both games. But platforming is always better than minigames.

New Super Mario Brothers Wii Guide

2009-12-05T17:10:00.000-08:00

----------------------
World 1 - Peach Castle
----------------------

Here you can spend the Star Coins that you've found so far to watch some hint
movies and make the game easier. The available hint movies to buy are unlocked
as you progress through the game.

---------
World 1-1
---------

Start by jumping on a pair of Goombas and hitting the blocks for some coins and
a Propeller Mushroom up high. Go right across the spinning ground for more
goombas and your first koopa. Head down the pipe in the middle of the moving
ground to reach a small underground section.

Your first P Switch is in the middle of this room. When you jump on it, all
bricks will become coins and all coins will become bricks for a short period of
time. So in this room you want to jump up to the P Switch without grabbing
many coins below. Hit the switch and quickly use the new bricks to reach the
temporary coins above. Grab the lower coins once the switch wears off and go
up the right pipe to get back above ground.

Attack the enemies to your left if you want the points and a few coins, then
jump right past a pair of green pipes. Hit the middle brick up high if you
want a pile of coins, then continue up the hill to the midway flag.

Slide down the hill to knock off some goombas and hit the blocks for some coins
and a Propeller Mushroom. Use a spin jump to reach the first Star Coin above,
then use another spin jump to follow the trail of coins through the air. You
can take the low path if you want a few coins, including a coin block in the
second group of bricks. I recommend the high road for a ring that leads to a
simple pattern of eight red coins. Grab them quickly to get an item for your
trouble.

Do another spin jump for more coins and drop down to a moving section of the
ground. Wait for a pipe to appear below and go down it. Use your wall-jump by
moving towards the pipes as you touch them, then press the jump button to jump
off in the other direction. Repeat this to reach the second Star Coin, then
return up the pipe to the surface.

Hit the brick in this hidden section to get a 1up, then go back outside and
make a note of what this fake wall looks like (this will make it easier to
spot similar walls later). Go up the next hill to a small fence in the
background, then spin jump to the platform above with the arrow sign. Right
above this platform is the third and final Star Coin for the stage. Slide down
the hill and take a running jump to the Goal for the stage!

---------
World 1-2
---------

Slide down the hill to take out some goombas and enter a pipe.

Take your first Ice Flower from the item box and test it out on the goomba.
The purple crystals in this stage rock back and forth constantly. Look up high
for the first Star Coin and follow the other coins to your first POW Block.
Either stomp it or throw it to kill a few enemies and loosen some coins.

Continue past a koopa and some Piranha Plants to reach your first Tilt Lift.
Jump on to see it change to your colours, then tilt the remote to tilt the
platform in the direction that you want. Take the Ice Flower above if you need
it, then tilt the right end up as you jump up and enter a pipe.

Jump up beside the lone brick to reveal two hidden blocks on each side, then
jump up there and use a running jump to get one or more of the four coins in
the middle. Hit the P Switch to swap the coins and bricks, then dodge the
falling goomba and quickly jump up for the second Star Coin. Grab the
remaining coins and take the next pipe back down.

Take a running slide (duck) under the bricks for some coins, then hit the
midway flag.

Fight through more goombas and koopas as you pass an Ice Flower in the item
box. Carefully jump across a pair of pits and stomp the bricks to enter a
green pipe below.

Hit the POW block on your right to send all coins down to your level. Be sure
to grab the third Star Coin that falls down while you're at it. Take out the
goombas if you want the points and go up the next pipe. Jump past another
Piranha Plant and use the tilt lift to get the red coins and a Fire Flower.

Enter the pipe and use a running jump with the next tilt lift to reach the
goal!

---------
World 1-3
---------

Grab the coins and hit the block above the pipe that you can't quite enter just
yet for another coin. Take out your first hammer brother while dodging his
hammers (the small pipe after him has a 1up Mushroom inside when you're Mini
Mario), then grab more coins and kill a goomba. The nearby item box has your
first Yoshi, so jump on him before you start feeding him enemies. Eat a pair
of fruits as you pass some goombas and coins, then jump to the first Star Coin
above a pipe.

Eat a few more fruits while eating some goombas and koopas. Yoshi can't
swallow the koopas' shells, so you want to spit it back out at the right time
to knock out a few more enemies. The next item box also has a Yoshi in it, but
this gets replaced with a Super Mushroom if you're already riding Yoshi. Take
out another Hammer Brother and watch for the Piranha Plant as you reach the
midway flag (use Mini Mario in the pipe just after to get some more coins
underground).

Watch for more Piranhas at the trio of green pipes, then walk through the wall
and go down a yellow one.

Use a spin jump down here if you have the Propeller Mushroom. You can also
jump with Yoshi, or bounce off a friend in multiplayer to reach the second Star
Coin. Go up the next pipe once you're ready to return.

Grab a Yoshi from the item box on your left and be careful of the next Fire
Piranha as it spits pairs of fireballs. By eating this Piranha with Yoshi, you
can spit out a fireball as well. Jump up the trio of ledges and jump right to
a hidden chamber in the wall.

[Secret Goal]

If you want to reach the secret goal for this stage, then go back left to exit
this chamber, then jump up and right off the top of the screen. Run right up
here to get some coins and a 1up Mushroom, then enter a hidden pipe. From here
you can get more coins and jump to the secret goal!

If you don't want the secret exit, then just skip the detour above and grab the
coins inside the hidden chamber. Drop down the other side and eat the Piranha,
then jump to the third Star Coin above.

The Hammer Brothers are too big for Yoshi to eat, so kill or avoid the pair
before you do a long jump to the normal Goal!

---------------------
World 1 - Warp Cannon
---------------------

You can reach this Warp Cannon by finding the secret goal in World 1-3, which
is detailed above. Grab a few coins and enter the cannon to warp straight to
World 5.

-------------------------
World 1 - Larrys Fortress
-------------------------

Go right up the platform for an Ice Flower and use it on the dry bones to get
rid of him. Ride up and jump to the swinging platform, then take out another
dry bones and jump up a pair of moving platforms to reach the ledge above.
Grab the coins if you want and jump from the moving platform to the swinging
one above for another Ice Flower. Carefully take a running jump left when the
ledge pushing out of the wall starts to move, then take the first Star Coin
above.

Carefully jump up a trio of swinging ledges while dodging a couple of dry
bones, then jump to the small ledge on the right side. Wall-jump to reach a
hidden chamber directly above you and take the second Star Coin inside, then
use the midway flag on the next ledge.

Carefully jump on the left moving ledge above you, then quickly jump right and
back left as the other ledges start to move. This way you shouldn't get
squished and lose a life. Use careful timing to get the item that you want
from the item box, then wait for the swinging platform to head for the right
side of the room. Wall-jump from your left to reach the third Star Coin for
this stage, then use the swinging platform to continue on.

The item box has a coin if you want, otherwise watch the dry bones and jump up
to a ring for some red coins and an item. Jump up the swinging and moving
platforms to reach the top of the stage, then grab a hidden 1up Mushroom from
an item box beside the right wall. Take a Fire Flower from the left item box
and enter the boss doors to face off against your first boss.

-----------------
Boss: Larry Koopa
-----------------

Watch for the pits on both sides of your platform and wait for Larry. He does
a high jump or two and swings his wand before firing a slow-moving shot towards
you. You want to either jump on him or hit him with about six fireballs.

Once you manage this, he starts spinning back and forth in his shell trying to
hit you (the shell is also immune to fireballs). Be sure that you DON'T jump
on top of his shell, as you will take damage this time. Otherwise keep jumping
over him until he returns to his original jumping and magic pattern.

After you jump on him twice more or roast him with 12 more fireballs, the fight
is over! You are then asked if you want to save your progress, which you
should do pretty much all the time.

---------
World 1-4
---------

Hit the goombas before taking an Ice Flower and some coins, then enter the
pipe.

Swim past some cheep cheep and urchins to get another Ice Flower, then start
whipping iceballs to freeze the enemies in your way and send them floating up
to the surface. Swim past some bubble jets that either push you up or down,
depending on where they are coming from. Go past more cheep cheep as you reach
some more Ice Flowers and the midway flag.

Swim past an urchin and a pair of bubble jets, then freeze the cheep cheep on
your left if you can. Otherwise swim left and jump up out of the water and
over him to reach the first Star Coin.

Grab the coins from the clams if you want and keep right for another Ice
Flower. Freeze a cheep cheep just below the second Star Coin and ride the ice
cube up there past the bubble jets to get it.

Freeze the urchin above the next bubble jet and wait for him to thaw and block
it, then grab the third Star Coin below.

Go down the green pipe and carefully take the 1up Mushrooms from the clams.
Collect a Fire Flower from the left item box and a Power Star from the right
box, then quickly swim up the next pipe.

Decide if you want to trade for the Ice Flower below or not, then watch out for
some spiky cheep cheep among the regular kind up ahead. Grab the 1up Mushroom
from the last clam if you want it, then enter the pipe.

Carefully bounce off the koopa to reach the goal!

----------
1 - Goomba
----------

When you run into the giant goomba on the map screen you get to play this
battle against four of them. Each one that you jump on splits into a pair of
medium goombas, and each of those splits into a pair of normal goombas.
Fireballs make this much easier as the giant goombas don't split when burnt to
a crisp.

You technically don't need to kill any of them, just grab the eight toad icons
and the goombas will all disappear. Once you do this, you get three Super
Mushrooms.

---------
World 1-5
---------

Jump across some rotating squares and be ready to wall-jump if the surface is
vertical when you touch it. Otherwise you want to jump carefully, quickly and
often with these. Hit the item box for a Propeller Mushroom, then spin jump to
a ledge above the blocks on tracks. Do a slide to hit the pair of bricks and
reveal a beanstalk, then climb on up.

Collect some coins and jump below the first Star Coin to reveal some hidden
coin blocks, then ride the left spinning block to reach the Star Coin. Hit the
blocks if you want more coins, then follow the arrow back down.

Get ready to jump over the big green cube by jumping when you see the corner
come closer. Take some coins and jump over the next green block to a ledge,
then jump carefully left to a corner in order to get the second Star Coin.

Jump onto the giant screws nearby and shake the remote to wind one platform
down and the other up. Repeat this to get across the gaps and do a spin jump
up to a red coin ring and the midway flag just beyond.

Collect more coins and spin jump for some coin outlines, that reveal themselves
as normal coins. Ride one of the next bricks around for a red coin ring, then
jump past some koopas to the fourth spinning red block and do a spin jump to
get the third Star Coin above you.

Work your way past another big green block to reach the goal!

---------
World 1-6
---------

Watch for koopas as you grab some coins on the spinning ground and take a Fire
Flower. Jump right past more koopas and carefully bounce off a koopa
paratroopa when he's mid-jump to reach the first Star Coin above. If that's
too hard you can always come back as propeller Mario, or with a friend.

Hit the middle brick of the trio for a beanstalk, then climb up for an item
choice box. Go back down the other pipe and bounce off a koopa to reach the
second Star Coin.

Beware of some piranhas as you reach the midway flag just past some moving
ground.

Watch out for koopas and goombas on the next spinning ground, then take a Fire
Flower from the middle item box. Ride the ground left to jump on a small ledge
under the midway flag, then walk through the wall and go down a pipe there.

Watch for falling goombas and jump to the third Star Coin on your right, then
go back up the left pipe.

Watch for more goombas falling out of a pipe just ahead, then reveal a P Switch
for some blue coins to collect. You can try to hit the next block from below
for a 1up Mushroom, but it's pretty tricky. You're probably better off
ignoring it and continuing right across some moving ground wheels to the goal!

-----------------------
World 1 - Larrys Castle
-----------------------

Ride the first gear for some coins and an Ice Flower while you meet a dry
bones, then jump right past another gear and hide in the gaps of the gear above
you so you don't get squished. Ride the gear up to reach a ledge on your right
with some off-screen coins. Drop down onto a smaller gear and jump for the
first Star Coin.

Hide in the gaps of the gears on your right as you come to another Ice Flower
and dry bones, then continue right past a few more gears to reach the midway
flag.

Grab another Ice Flower from the right item box under the first thwomp, then
take some coins from hidden item boxes under the second thwomp. Lure the third
one to proceed and bait the giant thwomp into crushing the blocks below him.
Carefully run into the small alcove with the second Star Coin once he moves
back up. You don't need to duck down here even though the spikes are clearly
passing through your head.

Bait the next pair of giant thwomps into smashing some blocks, then take the
high road for a hidden 1up Mushroom between the coins and the low path for some
more coins. Run underneath a series of thwomps as you hit a red coin ring and
start collecting the red coins. Don't stop running until you've reached the
gears beyond, then jump carefully to the next ledge to dodge another thwomp.
Dodge a big one and keep right past some dry bones and gears, then get in the
gaps of the big gear so that you don't get crushed against the ceiling. Ride
one of the teeth down to reach a green pipe, then go inside.

Hit the P Switch on the ceiling and quickly do a running jump to the bricks and
another to the wall, then wall-jump left to the third Star Coins. Finally jump
back across the bricks before they turn back into coins and enter the yellow
pipe.

Hit the hidden block between the coins for a Fire Flower, then enter the doors
and go right to meet Larry once more.

-----------------
Boss: Larry Koopa
-----------------

Larry has the same pattern here as the one he had when you fought him in the
Fortress. He jumps once or twice, then fires a magic shot. The only
differences are that the ground is now moving constantly, there are no pits,
and Larry shoots two magic shots when you've injured him twice.

You still want to jump on him a total of three times, or hit him with three
sets of about six fireballs to finish the fight. Try to stay on the high
ground as this makes it easier to dodge his jumps and attacks and land your
own, plus his shell gets stuck nicely in the lower sections.

Once the fight is over, you can grab your first key to end World 1!

Be sure to save your game and decide whether to collect any Star Coins or Toads
that you missed in this world, or move on to the next World.

###############################################################################
(G-02) WORLD 2
###############################################################################

----------------
World 2 - Castle
----------------

Here you can spend the Star Coins that you've found so far to watch some hint
movies and make the game easier.

---------
World 2-1
---------

Listen and watch for a puff of sand before the geyser rises, then jump to it.
Head right to get the Fire Flower in the mid-air item box if you want. Jump
past more geysers to a narrow ledge and ride a geyser up to the first Star
Coin.

The next two item boxes have a coin and 1up Mushroom before some goombas and
more geysers. Take out the boomerang brother or avoid him to reach the midway
flag.

Take a coin from the item box and keep right past more geysers and a piranha,
then hug the left wall on your way down to reach the second Star Coin.

Continue right past more geysers and piranhas, then hit the left item box for a
Fire Flower. Watch the red koopa paratroopa and note the second geyser that he
passes over. You want to jump to this geyser, then quickly jump twice on him
so that his shell lands on the geyser and you can pick it up. Now jump right
with the shell to the third geyser and kick it right to the third Star Coin
below.

Carefully jump past more geysers and koopas, then jump over another boomerang
brother to reach the goal!

---------
World 2-2
---------

Take a Fire Flower from the item box and slide down the hill, then smash a pair
of barrels and pick up the third. Throw it at the spike ahead while dodging
his spike balls. Collect some coins from the item boxes and hit a P Switch,
then quickly grab the blue coins and take out another spike.

Take more coins and an Ice Flower from the item boxes, then freeze Spike and
jump above him for a hidden 1up Mushroom. Freeze a spiny and slide down the
next hill, then ride the next platform up while you kick a shell into the other
koopas. Take the Ice Flower up ahead and use the midway flag.

Go left to sink to the bottom of the quicksand. Hit the P Switch and fall down
through all the coins, then enter the pipe at the bottom.

Go right and hit the question mark switch to reveal some platforms, then
quickly jump up to the first Star Coin. Go back left and enter the pipe beside
the wooden sign to leave this cavern.

Hug the wall on your right, then use a barrel to take out the next spike. Ride
a platform down if you want a barrel to use on another spike, then use a
running jump to hit the left brick of the group. This reveals a beanstalk that
you can climb, so do that and ride the platform for a number of coins. Pick up
the POW block and wait until you are under the second Star Coin. Use the POW
block to shake all the coins loose, then drop back down.

Go left past a Spike to a green pipe, then enter for a Mini Mushroom. Run
across the water as Mini Mario and do a wall-jump for more coins, then return
through the pipe. Keep right across a group of platforms and go low to find a
pair of barrels. Stomp them both to clear the way and enter the small pipe
beyond.

Take another Mini Mushroom and hit the P Switch. Run across the water and wall
jump back left for the third Star Coin before you enter the next pipe.

Go right to dispatch another spike on a moving platform, then take a running
jump to the goal!

---------
World 2-3
---------

Watch out for the spiny and take a Fire Flower, then grab some coins and jump
on top of the item boxes. Do a running jump left on top of the trees, then
jump up from the left tree to get a 1up Mushroom before you enter the pipe.

Use the fireballs along with your own to help you see in this dark area. Shoot
the piranhas up ahead and grab a Fire Flower from the right item box, then
slide down a hill. Keep right and watch out for two firesnakes after a moving
platform. Jump up the yellow blocks and take a running jump left, then run
over the gaps and enter a pipe.

Hit the bricks from below to take out these spike tops, then hit the P Switch
to get rid of the rest. Collect your coins and return to the cavern through
the pipe.

Head right past more large blocks and keep low for a Power Star, then jump up
and over for more big blocks. Drop down for the first Star Coin as you take
out any firesnakes along the way.

Keep right and jump up more big blocks to reach some coins and the midway flag.

Carefully jump past some fire piranha and moving platforms as you reach a fire
brother. Carefully drop down in between his fireballs and run left to get the
second Star Coin.

Go back right to get a Fire Flower, then remove the fire brother and carefully
jump past some big fire piranhas. Use a wall-jump from the top of the next
hill instead of sliding down. This gets you to a ledge up above so that you
can jump right and reach the third Star Coin and a pipe beyond.

Watch for the koopa as you jump up the steps, then leap to the goal on your
right!

-----------------------
World 2 - Roys Fortress
-----------------------

If you want to make this stage a lot easier, then play it as Propeller Mario.

Climb the fence and jump up, then enter either door. Climb the tilt fence and
tilt the left side of the remote up so the fence swings towards the P Switch.
Collect the coins and go back through either door.

Jump up from the next fence and watch the dry bones while you take an Ice
Flower. Walk through the right wall for some coins, then enter the door in the
left wall for an item choice box.

Return to the main room and jump up the fences on either side. Watch for some
purple magic shots occasionally as you continue your climb, then watch for the
first Star Coin on your left and jump over to it once you can climb up and over
to that side.

Go up past more fences and dry bones, then enter the door at the top to find
the midway flag.

Run right past the dry bones to get the second Star Coin inside the wall.

Climb right and up over some spikes, before you climb up some more and jump
into the POW block to shake loose a pile of coins. Go up for an Ice Flower in
the item box to use on more dry bones, then walk through the right wall between
the dry bones to reach a door with a tilt fence and some red coins.

Go back through the door and continue your climb as you jump carefully left for
the third Star Coin under some spikes.

Climb right and over some spikes to your left, then jump up to the doors and
use them.

---------------
Boss: Roy Koopa
---------------

Roy does one or two little jumps before doing a big jump and stomp. If you are
on the ground when his stomp lands, then you will be stunned for a few seconds.
So jump into the air instead in order to keep moving safely. Roy fires a magic
shot after the stomp that is easily jumped over.

Jump on Roy three times (and dodge the shell) to finish the fight, or hit him
with three rounds of about six fireballs (same as Larry). After two of your
hits, he will use two magic shots instead of one.

---------
World 2-4
---------

Watch for periodic winds that push you to the right in this stage, they tend to
push you harder when you're in the air than on the ground.

Kill the koopa before taking a coin and Propeller Mushroom above, then hit the
POW Block and collect a few more coins before entering the pink pipe.

Tilt the tilt lifts with the left end up as you follow the trail of coins and
go back through the next pipe.

Jump on top of the blocks to your right if you can, otherwise climb up there
with the ladder. Jump above the lone small block to reveal a beanstalk, then
climb up there.

Hit both item boxes to find more beanstalks, then hit hidden item boxes for
coins on every other space on two levels. Climb up the beanstalks to reach the
first Star Coin, then hit more hidden coins on your left for a 1up Mushroom
before going down the next pipe.

Spin jump or do a running jump up to the ladder if you want another Propeller
Mushroom and a barrel, then hit the left brick beside a pipe to get a 1up
Mushroom. Jump the next gap to reach the midway flag.

Carefully drop into the green pipe under the wooden sign when there's no wind.
Jump down for the second Star Coin and quickly use a spin jump to get back up
to the next pipe.

Wait for the winds to pick up before running down the next hill and doing a
long jump, then spin jump up through the third Star Coin.

[Secret Goal]

If you want to reach the secret goal for this stage, then jump to gap to the
ledge with the wooden sign and a hard top. Wait for the hard top to crawl
underneath and for the wind to start up again. Take a running jump and spin
jump right as the wind carries you up and over a wall up high (if you hit the
wall, do a quick wall-jump to get over). Enter the pipe here and get some more
coins before you jump to the secret goal!

Carefully jump right over some gaps and spike tops, then throw a barrel to take
out some koopas and enter the next pipe.

There's no more wind so jump left onto the ledge for a hidden 1up Mushroom,
then clear the pair of gaps to reach the goal!

---------------------
World 2 - Secret Pipe
---------------------

You can reach this pipe by finding the secret goal in World 2-4, which is
detailed above. The pipe will take you to Roys Castle in this world.

---------
World 2-5
---------

Use an iceball on pokey to make short work of him or jump over him and his
friends. Collect the coins and a Yoshi to make fighting pokeys easier (eat the
head to make the body crumble), then watch out for lakitu throwing spinys down
on you.

If you're careful, you can jump up with Yoshi to get up there and eat lakitu.
This allows you to steal his cloud and float for a bit. Float up and left for
some coins and a 1up Mushroom, then float left into a small white cloud to get
the first Star Coin.

Continue right past more piranhas and falling spinys as you come to the midway
flag.

Get the Fire Flower just beyond and go back left to a piranha between a few
yellow blocks. Use a fireball or shell to get rid of the piranha, then walk
right past one yellow block and back left to reach a passage underneath the
other one.

Pick up the light block as you avoid piranhas down here and jump up to the
second Star Coin, then go up the next pipe.

Keep moving right past some piranhas for more coins in the boxes and another
Yoshi in the left box of the middle pair. Steal lakitus cloud once again and
fly high to the right, then jump off some koopas if you need to as you collect
the third Star Coin in the sky.

Drop back down and carefully jump past more pokeys to reach the goal!

----------------
World 2 - Spinys
----------------

There are six spaces in the sand that you can walk on to get to the yellow
mushroom house and Roys Castle. Two of these spaces are randomly chosen as
traps each time you move. If you get caught in one, then you get to fight some
spinys.

Jump on top of the upside down spinys and kick them at each other as you
collect the usual eight toad icons and three Super Mushrooms from the chest.

---------
World 2-6
---------

Get the dancing coins as you ride the pink block, then collect a Propeller
Mushroom from the item box. Do a spin jump to collect the first Star Coin as
the block begins to rise (or you can try jumping left and back right to the
block as the corner rises).

Ride the block past some koopas and jump onto the moving bricks, then enter the
pipe up above. Bounce off the clouds and spin jump to reach the second Star
Coin, then collect more coins and use the next pipe.

Go right for the midway flag.

Grab another Propeller Mushroom from the top item box and jump on the head of
the fire chomp while dodging its fireballs, then hit the coin outlines above to
get some real ones. Hit the P Switch up ahead and use the bricks to reach more
coin outlines and the third Star Coin.

Use the red coin ring if you like and dodge more fire chomps until you can go
down a pipe.

[Secret Goal]

If you want to reach the secret goal for this stage, then you want to stay on
the spinning block instead of going down the pipe. Wait for a corner to point
up on the block. Jump and spin jump from this spot. Go a bit left as you rise
to see a pink pipe and hold up so that you enter it. Collect a few more coins
as you jump two more blocks and reach the secret goal!

Jump across more moving bricks to reach the goal!

---------------------
World 2 - Warp Cannon
---------------------

You can reach this Warp Cannon by finding the secret goal in World 2-6, which
is detailed above. Grab a few coins and enter the cannon to warp straight to
World 5.

---------------------
World 2 - Roys Castle
---------------------

Quickly do a spin jump as Propeller Mario to get the first Star Coin above you,
or take the wrong middle path first and let the terrain repeat.

Watch the dry bones and jumping podaboos (including one in the middle of the
moving platform) until you get a choice of which path to take. Follow the top
path first and break some bricks, then use wall-jumps to reach the second Star
Coin.

Take the coin and Fire Flower from the item boxes, then follow the bottom path
to reach a P Switch. Wait for the screen to scroll some before using it, then
get the third Star Coin down by the lava.

Quickly jump across to the other side and pass through the coins on the middle
path before they become bricks once more. Take a coin and Fire Flower from the
bricks and enter the doors.

---------------
Boss: Roy Koopa
---------------

Roy hides in the pipes above you and pokes his head out before picking another
pipe or falling to the ground. To play it safe you should jump whenever you
see him, because he will stun you if you are on the ground when he lands. Take
this time to jump on him before he fires his magic shot(s).

Once hit he slides in the shell as usual, so jump over him until he comes back
out again. If you're quick, then you can jump on him when he shows his face,
before he hides in the pipes once more.

You still want to jump on him a total of three times, or hit him with three
sets of about six fireballs to finish the fight.

Once the fight is over, you can grab your second key to end World 2!

Be sure to save your game and decide whether to collect any Star Coins or Toads
that you missed in this world, or move on to the next World.

###############################################################################
(G-03) WORLD 3
###############################################################################

---------
World 3-1
---------

Jump on the sliding penguins while taking a mushroom from the item box.
Carefully cross some ice while battling more penguins and take the Penguin Suit
from the left item box. Freeze the piranhas and do a running slide (duck) to
get the first Star Coin.

Keep right for more coins, koopas and penguins, then hit the right item box of
a pair to get another Penguin Suit. Slide across the lower path if you want a
tricky shot at a 1up Mushroom, otherwise bounce off a nearby koopa to reach the
midway flag (to make things easier, I recommend getting the second Star Coin,
before touching the midway flag).

Work your way down to the path below and head right, then freeze the piranha
for an extra platform to get the Second Star Coin. Go back up and enter the
pipe on your right.

Hit the item box for a Penguin Suit and slide or jump right across all the
gaps. Be sure to slide through the bricks so that you can enter the pipe
beyond.

Move left and freeze a penguin as he gets close to you, then quickly jump on
top and duck to get past the overhang. Jump on the other side to get the third
Star Coin above and dodge death in the pit below, then enter the pipe once
more.

Slide across a few more pits as you dodge more piranhas and penguins to reach
the goal!

---------
World 3-2
---------

Grab the Ice Flower while dodging koopas and bullet bills. Look for the first
Star Coin up high and bounce off of either enemy in order to grab it.

Keep right to meet the new snow brother and carefully bounce off of a bullet
bill to land on him. Keep right and hit the top item box for a Power Star,
then rush right past the next item box (coin). Bounce off of a pair of bullet
bills to reach the Yoshi above you and jump past the moving platform in order
to reach the midway flag.

Hit the next item box for an Ice Flower, then dodge some more bullet bills as
you go down the green pipe just ahead.

Carefully time your jumps to bounce off the bullet bills and wall-jump up to
the second Star Coin, then enter the yellow pipe.

Go left and bounce off the bullet bills to land on the high platform to your
right. Carefully jump past the snow brother and use a bullet bill to bounce
over to the third Star Coin.

Carefully dodge more bullet bills and a goomba, then climb the stairs and
bounce to the goal!

-----------------------
World 3 - Snow Brothers
-----------------------

There are six spaces in the ice that you can walk on to get to the stages
beyond. Two of these spaces are taken by a snow brother each time you move.
If you get caught by one, then you get to fight some snow brothers.

Pick up the springboards if you need help killing the snow brothers from below,
then finish off the rest. Collect the usual eight toad icons as you go, then
take three Super Mushrooms from the chest.

---------
World 3-3
---------

Watch for the snow brother as you hit the second brick for a 1up Mushroom, then
enter the pipe.

Ride the ice chunk and watch the dripping lighter coloured icicles because they
fall as you get close. The other icicles stay put, but they still damage you
if you jump up into them. Hit the left item box for a Penguin Suit and
carefully cross the platforms before they squish you against the wall and sink.
Watch for falling goombas and notice that the floating platforms are passing
through a pillar. That's your big hint, drop to the water and check out that
pillar to find the first Star Coin.

Continue on to take out a snow brother as you choose your item, then use the
next pipe to reach the midway flag.

Jump across the large icicle after it falls and collect a Penguin Suit, then
dodge some gaps, goombas and icicles to your right. Take out the snow brother
to get the second Star Coin above, then jump into the wall at the top of the
hill to enter a hidden pipe.

Use the POW Block to shake loose the icicles and coins, then fill your pockets
and go back down the pipe.

Go right across a trio of large icicles and watch for the third one leaning to
the right, then fight some goombas and dodge more icicles. Slide down in the
Penguin Suit if possible, this way you get a 1up Mushroom from the last brick.
Use the next big icicle to reach the pipe after it falls.

Take a Penguin Suit from the right box and pick up the barrel, then carefully
run right past the falling icicles to the first block. Jump over and carry it
across some gaps as you pause under a ledge for a breather. Watch the iceballs
from the snow brother and jump the gap as you run to the next block.

Jump a bit and throw the barrel so that it rolls over this block and into the
third Star Coin, then enter the pipe above. If you lose the barrel early, you
can always go back left for another one.

Go up the hill from here and jump to the goal!

---------------------
World 3 - Ghost House
---------------------

Don't turn your back to the boos or they will move in for the kill. Go left
through the fake wall to get the first Star Coin.

Take a Fire Flower above and watch for the spinning debris. Ignore the three
doors unless you want a few coins. Walk through the right wall instead to
reach a real door.

Jump through the right wall for more coins, then climb the ropes until you see
the wall get wider on the left side. Jump through the wall here to find the
second Star Coin.

Keep climbing up to the top past more boos and use the door once you get there.

Check the fake wall on your left for some coins, then go right across a rope
past more boos. Collect a Fire Flower below and return to the rope to keep
moving right. Lure the boos towards you so that you can ride the platform
under them and continue right.

[Secret Goal]

If you want to reach the secret goal for this stage, then you want to drop
underneath this moving platform to reach a hidden door below and enter it.

Juggle the boos until the platform drops once, then go through the right wall
to get the third Star Coin.

Take a Power Star from the first box on your right and a Fire Flower from the
second below. Enter the door at the bottom and lure one more boo as you jump
from a pair of blocks to the secret goal!

Just don't go all the way right to the wall or you will fall. Drop to the next
platform when it comes back and jump through another fake wall to find the real
door.

Carefully look both ways to keep the boos from advancing too much. Then hit
the box on your right when the platform drops to get a Power Star. Use it on
the large boo and his friends, then continue down to the bottom for a door.

Jump up the steps now that you're outside the ghost house, then lure the boo
and jump over him to the goal!

---------------------
World 3 - Warp Cannon
---------------------

You can reach this Warp Cannon by finding the secret goal in World 3 - Ghost
House, which is detailed above. Grab a few coins and enter the cannon to warp
straight to World 6.

-------------------------
World 3 - Lemmys Fortress
-------------------------

Enter the purple "U" shape as it spins for some coins, then jump to the left
ledge and jump on top of the same spinning shape. Jump from the top corner to
enter another blue shape, then take the Ice Flower inside. Jump out of the
shape as it spins right and wall-jump back on top of it (or jump on top of the
spot just right of the gap). Head left to some ledges. Drop down and do a
running jump off the corner of the shape to go through a fake wall and enter a
hidden door.

Wall-jump on top of the purple shape so you land on one of the sides with the
gap on it. Ride it to the top and drop through the first Star Coin as you
avoid the spinning mace. Go left through the other gap to reach the door and
return to the previous area.

Freeze and smash the dry bones as you hit a red coin ring, then ride the
platform up past some amps to reach the midway flag.

Take another Ice Flower from the middle box above, then ride another platform
and freeze more dry bones as you use a POW Block. Collect another Ice Flower
and watch for the rolling spike balls as they kill the dry bones and try to
annoy you (you can jump to the higher ledges to catch a little break). The
spike balls turn around when they hit each other, so hold out a bit longer and
hit a POW Block if you want to forfeit the second Star Coin and get rid of all
four spiked balls.

If you're careful though you can carry the POW Block (without throwing it or
activating it by hitting something above you) and have the spike balls destroy
the white blocks below the second Star Coin on your left.

Collect the 1up Mushroom from the lone brick on your right and try to stay near
the top corners of the two spinning objects above as you continue your climb.
Do a running wall-jump off the right wall to get the third Star Coin.

Jump up before doing a running jump left over the gap, then jump at the spot
that the blue material meets bricks to find a hidden Penguin Suit. Jump back
right and enter the door to face off against Lemmy.

-----------------
Boss: Lemmy Koopa
-----------------

Lemmy creates one ball that bounces towards you. He then rushes you on his own
ball. So jump over or bounce on the little ball, then jump on Lemmy himself to
score a hit.

Jump on Lemmy three times (and dodge the shell as it stops a bit before the
pits) to finish the fight, just like the other koopalings.

After one of your hits, he will use two balls instead of one. After two hits,
he will use three balls.

---------
World 3-4
---------

Jump on top of the moving block and grab a Penguin Suit from the pair of item
boxes. Stomp the ice if you want some coins, otherwise jump over another
moving block before it pushes you into some pits. Freeze the nearby fire
brother and take the first Star Coin above him.

Keep right past more moving blocks while you follow a path of coins, then
avoid the koopas and ride the blocks. Duck under one block to find the second
Star Coin hidden above you, then do some wall-jumps or duck to stay on the
platform before you continue to the midway flag.

Take a Penguin Suit from the left item box and carefully jump across more
moving blocks, then choose your item from the box above and make a note of the
red pipe below.

[Secret Goal]

Jump across the series of moving platforms while dodging fireballs from the
fire brother, then jump to his ledge to get a 1up Mushroom above. The pattern
for the platforms is three short ones followed by a taller one. Jump over the
far right platform to get the third Star Coin by the wall.

Kill the next Fire Brother and pick up a POW Block, then ride the next moving
platform and shake loose some coins with the POW Block. Collect as many as you
can and continue onward to the secret goal!

Return to this stage once you've hit the Red Switch on the map screen. This
fills in all the block outlines in this stage with solid blocks. Now you can
drop down and do a running slide to enter this red pipe from the side.

Avoid the goombas and collect some coins, then enter the next pipe at the other
side of this room. Head right before you jump up and over the ice blocks to
reach the Goal!

---------
World 3-5
---------

Hit the right item box of the pair for a Propeller Mushroom, then make note of
the Propeller Blocks that work the same way while you're carrying one. Ride
the spinning block and hit the P Switch to get a few temporary bricks. Dodge
the koopas and fire piranhas as you collect the first Star Coin on your right.

You can also find a Power Star hidden in the middle of a small box shape of
coins on your left. Continue riding the block as it spins and make a note of
the red pipe at the top.

[Secret Goal]

Return to this stage once you've hit the Red Switch on the map screen. This
fills in all the block outlines in this stage with solid blocks. Now you can
enter this red pipe.

Ride the spinning block and grab a Propeller Mushroom from the item boxes on
your left. Spin jump right past a koopa to get the second Star Coin from a
longer ledge.

Keep climbing until you see a group of red koopas, then jump over them or spin
jump carefully up the middle to get the third Star Coin.

Carefully ride the spinning block up past some weaving koopas, then enter the
pipe above you.

Jump the pit to reach a spinning block and do a spin jump over to the secret
goal!

Entering the green pipe and jump from the spinning block to reach the goal!

--------------------
World 3 - Red Switch
--------------------

Hit the switch on the map so that the block outlines in some stages are now
filled in by solid blocks. You should now return to World 3-4 and 3-5.

-----------------------
World 3 - Lemmys Castle
-----------------------

Watch the dry bones as you grab a Penguin Suit from the second group of item
boxes. Keep right and enter the pipe beyond a few more dry bones.

Fall down from one of the donut blocks (they only fall if you stand on one for
a few seconds) and ride the moving blocks right. Jump over the big icicles as
you get closer to them (the first one after the spikes leans right). Grab a
Penguin Suit from the item box and bounce off one of the balls to reach the
first Star Coin above.

Catch up with your moving platform once more and carefully bounce off a ball to
hit the brick above if you want a 1up Mushroom. Jump one more dry bones before
you enter the next pipe.

Jump on the bob-ombs and use them to break the large blocks and collect the
second Star Coin to your left.

Take the Penguin Suit and use another bob-omb to continue right and reach the
midway flag.

Use a bob-omb to get the blocks exploding, then ride the moving platform over
a Penguin Suit and up against more big blocks. The platform weaves back and
forth under itself before heading left to the Penguin Suit and right to more
donut blocks. Run ahead to the donut blocks early if you can, then grab the
third Star Coin.

Return to the moving platform as it rises up high and sinks back down. Hit the
red coin ring and prepare for a rising weave pattern. Slide into the bricks if
you still have your Penguin Suit to get a 1up Mushroom.

Enter the green pipe for three balls and a Penguin Suit, then return through
the yellow pipe and use the doors to face Lemmy once more.

-----------------
Boss: Lemmy Koopa
-----------------

Lemmy has a bigger ball to ride this time. He also creates three smaller balls
to send bouncing your way.

You want to bounce off the smaller balls to get high enough to land on Lemmy.
If you don't manage to land on him, then he bounces your way and you need to
run under him. After hitting him, you can dodge his shell three times until it
stops on the opposite side of the platform.

After your first hit on Lemmy, he sends out four balls. After the second hit,
his ball grows even bigger and he sends out five balls.

Once the fight is over with your third hit on Lemmy, you can grab your third
key to end World 3!

Be sure to save your game and decide whether to collect any Star Coins or Toads
that you missed in this world, or move on to the next World.

###############################################################################
(G-04) WORLD 4
###############################################################################

---------
World 4-1
---------

Take a Penguin Suit from the third item box and put it to good use in the water
below. Freeze the piranha and use his ice cube to reach the first Star Coin
above.

Use another ice cube to reach the platform with a red coin ring, and another
Penguin Suit in the right item box. Watch out for more cheep cheep and a spiky
cheep cheep. Swim past a pair of bubble jets as you sneak past another spiky
cheep cheep, then hit the third item box above for yet another Penguin Suit.

Watch for a group of spiky cheep cheep on your right and hit the lone item box
to get a Power Star! Swim through a few cheep cheep while you can and leap out
to the midway flag on dry land.

Take a Penguin Suit from the higher item box and grab some coins from the box
on your right. Swim past the urchins and a bubble jet, then freeze the urchin
above you and jump on the ice cube. Jump left through the fake wall to choose
an item from the box, then use another ice cube (you may need to freeze it more
than once) to reach the second Star Coin above.

Freeze more urchins and pass another bubble jet, then hit the right brick in
the first pair to get a Penguin Suit. Bounce off of the koopas for some coins,
or swim between the large urchins and a spiky cheep cheep below. Carefully
freeze both urchins beside the next big urchin. This covers up the bubble jets
and allows you to enter the yellow pipe.

Freeze the spiky cheep cheep and claim your triple 1up Mushroom prize from the
clams, then enter the next pipe.

Hit the right item box on the top row above you to get a Penguin Suit, then
swim right past more urchins. Jump on top of the pipe to get the third Star
Coin, then take either pipe (the top one is better) to reach the next section.

Do a running bounce off of the koopa to land on the goal!

--------------
World 4 - Fish
--------------

There are three spaces on the docks that you can walk on to get to the stages
beyond. One of these spaces is taken by a fish each time you move. If you get
caught by him, then you get to fight some fish.

Watch as the fish swims back and forth and jumps up at you, then collect the
usual eight toad icons before opening the chest and collecting three Super
Mushrooms.

---------
World 4-2
---------

Take a Fire Flower from the left item box in the second pair, then get ready
for some jumping cheep cheep. Ignore the first series of bricks and hit the
next groups for some coins. Collect more coins from the cloud and hit the
brick below for a P Switch. Hit the switch if you want and keep right for the
first Star Coin above a barrel.

Hit the middle item box for a Fire Flower, then jump right across a few more
barrels. Take more coins from the cloud and use the midway flag beside it.

Hit the item boxes for a Fire Flower and Power Star, then grab a 1up from the
lone brick below. Slide right on the rocky ledge for the second Star Coin as
you dodge more jumping cheep cheep.

Carefully cross more rocky ledges and hit the left item box on the other side
for a Fire Flower. Take more coins from the cloud and watch for the yellow
ledges. They fall like donut blocks if you linger too long on one, so move
quickly. Drop down to the rocky ledge below (by letting the yellow platform
fall), then sidle under the third Star Coin and jump up to collect it.

Jump across a few more donut blocks and dodge the last of the cheep cheep as
you fling yourself at the goal!

---------
World 4-3
---------

Jump over the dirt that the crabs throw at you and take a Penguin Suit from the
pair of item boxes. Carefully bounce off a dirt ball or crab to reach the
first Star Coin above the big urchin.

Jump another gap to the next moving platform and a Penguin Suit above. Climb
the hill and take a Power Star from the right box, then hit the P Switch up
ahead and hit the left brick of the remaining pair for a 1up Mushroom. Hit the
middle block of the trio up ahead to get a Mini Mushroom. Use it to run across
the water below, then jump over the giant urchin for the second Star Coin and
the midway flag.

Ignore the Super Mushroom in the left brick and carefully jump up and over some
crabs. Drop to the water below and run across into a tiny pipe.

Collect the third Star Coin among the regular coins, then enter the right pipe
to return to the surface.

Run across the water for more coins as you leap over some big urchins, then
enter the next pipe.

Run and jump for some coins and the goal just ahead of you!

-------------------------
World 4 - Wendys Fortress
-------------------------

This stage is packed with conveyors, so pay attention to the directions that
they're moving in. Also keep in mind that you can move against a conveyor
faster if you jump repeatedly as you run.

Take the Ice Flower on your right as you dodge the falling blocks, then collect
some coins and enter the pipe above.

Jump off of one of the blocks just before it falls to get the first Star Coin
above.

Jump left across the same blocks to reach the blue ledges above, then keep
climbing and do a wall-jump off the left wall to get the group of coins. Take
the Ice Flower on your right and jump left across three conveyors. Jump right
onto the next one and right through the fake wall to claim the second Star
Coin.

Jump back left across the remaining conveyors and use the midway flag above.

Pick up a propeller block and use it to spin jump past all the dry bones, then
enter the pipe at the top.

Carefully jump left to the blue ledges without a block falling on top of you,
then jump right over those same blocks. Wait for a taller block to appear up
above (the 2x2 is easiest), then jump left from the top of that block to reach
the left ledge. If you jump left from here you can reach a small ledge as Mini
Mario and a passage that leads to a 1up Mushroom. Otherwise you should jump
right over another short block and run to the wall, then jump your way up to
the next pipe.

[Secret Goal]

If you return to this room, then you can jump through a fake passage in the
left wall before the second block lands against the wall. Basically jump up
the first two blocks of the group as they land and enter the pipe beyond, then
jump right to the secret goal!

Let most of the blocks fall here before you attempt to climb up to the third
Star Coin, then run right before the last block crushes you. Jump up the
conveyors to the top and jump left through the fake wall. Collect some coins
and reveal a hidden Fire Flower in the middle, then enter the door to fight
Wendy.

--------------------
Boss: Wendy O. Koopa
--------------------

Watch for Wendy to create a ring that bounces around the room diagonally. She
then jumps a few times and repeats up to a maximum of three rings on the screen
at a time. After jumping on her head or roasting her with fireballs, you get
to doge her shell like the koopalings before her.

After two hits from you, Wendy shoots two rings at a time. Jump on her head
three times or use your fireballs to finish this fight.

---------------------
World 4 - Warp Cannon
---------------------

You can reach this Warp Cannon by finding the secret goal in World 4 - Wendys
Fortress, which is detailed above. Grab a few coins and enter the cannon to
warp straight to World 6.

---------
World 4-4
---------

Go down the pipe and take the fire flower, then dodge some cheep cheep, spiky
cheep cheep and bloopers swimming high out of the trio of pipes. Watch for
more bloopers down low as you hit the red coin ring and keep right. Swim past
the bubble jet to reach the midway flag.

Swim past more bubble jets and bloopers, then squeeze between the bricks and a
bubble jet to slide down the yellow pipe.

Grab the Fire Flower and Power Star if you need them. Kill the big fish before
he swallows you to get a trio of 1up Mushrooms, then enter the next pipe.

Hit the P Switch in the ceiling to stop the bubble jets, then enter the yellow
pipe above before they return.

Take the Penguin Suits from the item boxes, then freeze the cheep cheep and
jump from the ice cube to get the first Star Coin above. Collect the remaining
coins and go down the next pipe.

Take a Fire Flower from the middle block on your left, then attack some more
blooper and cheep cheep. Swim down under the item boxes if you have the
Penguin Suit to get a Power Star, then watch for a trio of blooper hiding out
on a red pipe. Swim down low after a bubble jet to get the Second Star Coin.

Swim past a few more blooper and bubble jets, then swim through the fake wall
to get the third Star Coin.

Take out one more blooper before entering the pipe, then jump across the
platforms to reach the goal!

---------------------
World 4 - Ghost House
---------------------

Go through the left wall and jump for a hidden Power Star, then head right for
an Ice Flower. Notice that some of the blocks on the ground rise, while others
sink. Let the third block after the Ice Flower sink to get the first Star
Coin.

Dodge the boos and jump on the rats as you take some coins up ahead, then stop
two blocks left of the door.

[Secret Goal]
Go left one more block and let it sink to the ground, then enter the hidden
door.

Watch for boos, rats and spinning debris as you head right. Ride the rising
block to get the third Star Coin above.

Keep right until you reach a big boo, then carefully jump over him and enter
the far right door.

Watch the boo and giant boo as you grab a springboard from the blocks, then
jump the gap on your right to reach the secret goal!

Stand on the right side of the block and let it rise through the fake ceiling,
then hit the P Switch and enter the door below.

Head right past more boos and rats before you walk through the wall, then grab
the second Star Coin above and enter the door up here.

Hit the blocks for a springboard and jump right to reach the goal!

---------
World 4-5
---------

The pink platforms in this stage shrink and grow in size, so time your jumps
carefully.

Hit the smiling block to release a coin-throwing lakitu, then dodge the spinys
from his friend. Hit the blocks for a Yoshi and eat a lakitu, then ride his
cloud right above the piranha to get the first Star Coin.

Reveal another coin lakitu up ahead, then use Yoshi to eat one of them for
another cloud. Hit the box for a Fire Flower and use a cloud up high past the
next piranha. Quickly follow the trail of coins up high to get the second Star
Coin, then keep right to the midway flag.

Hit the blocks for another Yoshi, then steal another cloud and fly up past the
green pipe to enter another one in the sky.

Release a lakitu and ride his cloud up to the coins and third Star Coin, then
enter the next pipe on your right.

Watch for more spinys and piranha as you head right, then steal a cloud and fly
to the goal!

-----------------------
World 4 - Wendys Castle
-----------------------

Ride the fence to jump the spike posts, then grab a Fire Flower and collect
more coins while dodging koopas. Punch the flip square to flip behind the
fences. Unlike Super Mario World, you now stay behind all fences until you
use another flip square. Stay behind as you head right past more fences and
dry bones, then drop to the first Star Coin behind a nearby fence.

Head right and use the flip square to return to the front of the fences. Watch
the spike posts below and leap into the water, then duck as you ponder the fact
that you can drown in two inches of water. Jump to the second Star Coin as the
spike posts retract, then use the fence and make sure that you stay on the
front of them in order to reach the next door.

Duck in the gap as you avoid the spike post, then grab some coins on your way
to the midway flag.

Take the Ice Flower and duck to help get past a faster spike post, then choose
your item and throw a POW Block to release a group of coins. Collect as many
as you can, then enter the pipe below.

Use the red coin ring to collect the red coins as you dodge the mace, then
return through the pipe.

Carefully work your way up past the spike posts, then enter the next pipe.

Bait the fishbones into spotting you, then swim out of the way as they swim and
shatter against a wall or block. Swim right into the alcove up near the pipe
for some coins, then enter the pipe.

Watch the long spike post move a little bit before shooting right, then
carefully move right as you duck in the small grooves and use the moving
platforms above. Take the Fire Flower and keep moving right towards the door.
Ignore it for now and rush to the pipe below when the spike post retracts.

Bait the fishbones and swim to the third Star Coin, then return through the
pipe and take the door above you (when it's safe from the spike post).

--------------------
Boss: Wendy O. Koopa
--------------------

Wendy floods the room in this battle and it slowly drains. On the plus side
her rings move slower underwater, but you can't jump on her when you're both
underwater. If you have fireballs, then they're still fair game underwater and
you can land about six of them to score a hit.

Otherwise you want to swim past the rings and Wendys jumps until the water
drains enough to jump on her when you're both in the air. Or you can wait
until the water is completely gone if you want to play it safe.

After three jumps on her head or three well placed groups of fireballs, you can
grab your fourth key!

-----------------
World 4 - Airship
-----------------

Head right past some mecha-koopas and jump the swinging flame, then grab an Ice
Flower from the item boxes. Carefully do a running jump over the larger flame
and hug the wall before you grab the first Star Coin.

Take a running jump over the next flame and drop right, then zigzag down and
left to an item box. Stand on top to dodge the flame, then take the Ice Flower
from inside. Do a running low jump to land beyond the same flame, then stomp
the crate to get a 1up Mushroom. Jump back left over the flame before dodging
some more on your right as you reach the midway flag.

Stomp the crates to get an Ice Flower, then enter the pipe among them.

Jump repeatedly on the large screws to keep them moving and stop you from
falling into the pits below. Take the second Star Coin as you go, then be sure
to enter the next pipe.

Work your way across the moving pipes and hit the red coin ring above the blue
pipe if you like. Dodge some bob-ombs and alternating flames, then use the POW
block to release some coins. Hit the left item box for an Ice Flower, then
keep right past some flames and activate a bob-omb near the crate to get rid of
it. Take the third Star Coin beyond and go down the nearby pipe.

Pick up a propeller block and spin jump up to face off against a familiar
enemy.

---------------
Boss: Bowser Jr
---------------

Bowser Jr flies back and forth in his mini clown copter and shoots curving
fireballs down at you. You want to run and jump out of their way, then dodge
the burning flames that they leave behind on the ground.

Hold a propeller block and spin jump up to land on top of Bowser Jr. After
three of these hits, both the fight and World 4 are done!

Be sure to save your game and decide whether to collect any Star Coins or Toads
that you missed in this world, or move on to the next World.

###############################################################################
(G-05) WORLD 5
###############################################################################

This world has vines on the map that shift as you finish or fail stages. These
vines might block your path sometimes, so just take an alternate route, or
finish a previous stage, or lose a life to get them moving again.

---------
World 5-1
---------

Take the Ice Flower as you freeze the walking and stretching piranhas, then
stomp the little brown spot on the ground just before the large turtle shell to
get the first Star Coin below.

Choose your item above the turtle shell and carefully jump right past more
piranhas. Hit the second brick for a 1up Mushroom and avoid the rising and
sinking spike balls above the next set of piranhas. Jump into the water to
swim into the left side of the next turtle shell, then take the second Star
Coin inside.

Hit the item boxes for some coins, then use the midway flag.

Swing across the vines to avoid more piranhas and hit the middle brick for an
Ice Flower Jump on the right platforms on the wheel to get it moving to the
right, then avoid the spike balls or use fireballs and iceballs on the
piranhas. Jump up into the right wall if you want a few coins, then fight more
piranhas and swing across a vine. Jump just below the white lip of the turtle
shell to enter a hidden pipe.

Carefully hit the POW block to let loose the third Star Coin, then collect the
other coins and use the next pipe.

Swing right from the vine to a platform and jump to the goal beyond!

-----------------
World 5 - Piranha
-----------------

There are three sections in the dirt that you can walk on to get to the stages
beyond. One of the spaces in each section is taken by a piranha each time you
move. If you get caught by him, then you get to fight some piranha.

Watch the piranha as they walk and stretch, then avoid them and collect the
usual eight toad icons before opening the chest and collecting three Super
Mushrooms.

---------
World 5-2
---------

Work your way right past some wigglers and avoid jumping on them, or they get
angry and move faster. Stay low to the ground and hit the item box for a Fire
Flower, then jump up to that ledge and walk through the right wall. Carry the
POW Block right and throw it to knock the first Star Coin down to your level.

Jump up the remaining ledges and enter the pipe to your right.

Watch for the giant wigglers in here as one climbs down from above. Bounce off
the wigglers so that you grab the second Star Coin without landing in the
purple water below.

Head right and hide in the small alcove below another big wiggler, then keep
right and bounce off one of the swoopers to reach the ledge on your left. Go
left and jump up when you hit the wall.

Take two 1up Mushrooms from the item box and go down the pipe.

Go right once more and hold the jump button to bounce off of the wiggler down
in the water and land on the next ledge and reach the midway flag.

Watch for another swooper and bounce left off of a big wiggler to reach the
high ledge on your left. Walk left on this ledge to reach another small room.

Avoid the swoopers and hit two hidden blocks above the left side of the pipe
for a pair of hidden 1up Mushrooms, then go back down the pipe.

Bounce across some more big wigglers as you avoid a swooper and bounce right up
to a higher ledge. Walk right across this ledge until you come to another
small room.

Use a propeller block to collect the third Star Coin in here, then take some
more coins and slide down the pipe.

Go left for a Fire Flower and bounce right for some coins and a 1up Mushroom in
the middle brick up high. Just be sure to dodge the swoopers as you make these
high jumps. Keep bouncing right until you reach a pipe, then go onside.

Go right and bounce off one more giant wiggler to reach the goal!

---------
World 5-3
---------

The bubbling purple water in this stage is death, so avoid it at all costs and
treat it like lava.

Walk under the bramballs so that they don't step on you or jump on the round
head in the middle to get rid of them. Take the Fire Flower and go down the
nearby pipe.

Take the coins and choose your item before returning, then bounce off a
bramball to reach the first Star Coin above you.

Carefully avoid some koopas as you jump across the logs, then cross a few more
while carefully jumping on the bramballs from the blocks. Hit the lone brick
for a 1up Mushroom and use the midway flag up ahead.

Hit the top left box to release a Fire Flower, then go down the next pipe to
get shot to the platform above you. Kill the bramball and go up the pipe on
your right.

Hit the red coin ring and use a propeller block to collect the red coins among
the clouds, then fall down on the right side.

Go left past a bramball and take a koopa shell, then carry it right and throw
it at the pair of bricks. Stop the shell and collect the second Star Coin
inside.

Jump over the next pipe and jump beside the wall of blocks to reveal a hidden
block. Take out the bramball and jump right to some donut blocks. Ride one of
them down to the third Star Coin and quickly jump up before you hit the water
below.

Watch out for some fast bramballs as you enter the next pipe to your right.

Jump the final gaps and bounce off the bramball to reach the goal!

------------------------
World 5 - Iggys Fortress
------------------------

Carefully jump up the platforms while dodging dry bones and staying away from
the moving spikes. Take an Ice Flower from the second item box and hit the
bricks above for some coins. Watch the right spike walls to spot the first
Star Coin as they move right.

Continue your climb and take the Ice Flower from an item box on your right.
Wait for the pike wall to move back right before you jump up to the midway
flag.

Jump off the springboard and get ready to deal with some faster spike walls.
Jump in the middle of the coins on your left for a hidden 1up Mushroom, then
quickly jump up the platforms on your right as the spike walls move that way.
Keep climbing and jump up another series of ledges on your right as you reach a
dry bones. Jump left as the spike wall moves that way to get the second Star
Coin.

Pick up the springboard and drop it under the blue platform so that you can
bounce up to it. Quickly jump up two platforms on your left, three on your
right and two ore on your left while jumping the gaps in your way. Walk right
with the spike wall and break a column of bricks, then wait for your next trip
right to wall-jump up to the third Star Coin.

Wait for the gap in the spike walls to return, then follow it left and jump up
to a hidden Fire Flower by the left wall. Finally jump right and enter the
doors to fight Iggy.

----------------
Boss: Iggy Koopa
----------------

Watch for two or three jumps from Iggy before he fires a magic shot. Try to
stay on the high platform as they move, to make things easier.

Jump on Iggy or use about six fireballs to score a hit, then dodge his shell
and deal with his pattern above. After two hits from you, Iggy uses two magic
shots instead of one. Jump on his head three times total or use your fireballs
to finish this fight.

---------
World 5-4
---------

Go right past the wooden sign and jump to reveal four hidden boxes among the
flowers. Take the Fire Flower from one of them and dodge the falling goombas
before using the pipe.

Take note of the number on your raft, it goes up by one for each enemy or coin
that's on it. Once it reaches 5, the raft won't move until you remove more
weight. Take the Ice Flower as the raft starts to move and start to thin out
the enemy ranks. Do a careful running jump off of an enemy to reach the first
Star Coin above if you want a challenge, or freeze an enemy and jump off of the
ice cube, or use a propeller mushroom when entering this stage.

Take a Fire Flower from the next item box and roast some enemies, then continue
right to an Ice Flower. Micro goombas, piranhas and bob-ombs are next to fall
on your raft. Throwing an ice cube or shell works well to clear your raft.
Pick up the POW Block when you see it and hold on as you jump on more enemies.
Wait until you see two coins in the air on top of each other, then throw the
POW block when the raft is safely under these coins. This releases the second
Star Coin for you to collect.

Watch out for the big piranhas because they can't be frozen. You should use
fireballs instead, or throw an ice cube at them. Once you see a ledge, then
you should pick up a bob-bomb and can quickly jump to the ledge. Drop the bomb
on the white blocks to get rid of some, then drop down to the raft and third
Star Coin before using the pipe above.

Take a running jump off of the koopa to reach the ledges above, then run and
jump to the goal!

---------------------
World 5 - Ghost House
---------------------

Pick up the light block and jump the gap to enter a door.

Hit the second box for a Fire Flower, then jump to the ledge above and jump
right to another ledge. Walk through the right wall for the first Star coin,
then go through the door in the top right corner.

Pick up the light block once more and drop down the shaft, then go right and
drop down once more. Head left and use the door that you find.

Pick up a light block and grab the Fire Flower on your right, then jump the
gaps and moving platforms as you avoid a boo. Take the second Star Coin at the
far right end of the room before using the door.

Back at the start, drop down the first shaft once more and jump the gap, then
climb the stairs and drop down for the next door on your right.

Wait for the gap in the boo rings before jumping through. Take a Super
Mushroom and the third Star Coin on your way, then go through the door to
return to the start.

Go back right to the stairs and jump the gap this time, then drop down a shaft.

[Secret Goal]

Drop down another shaft and walk through the left wall for another door.

Hit the switch if you want to light up the moving block, then ride it in a
counter-clockwise square path whether it's lit or not. Jump right and pick up
a light block, then hit another switch. Work your way right across more moving
blocks while avoiding the boo, then enter the door.

Jump through the hole in the boo ring and leap right to the secret goal!

Jump another gap to reach the far right door.

Hit the top item box for a Fire Flower and carefully walk among the shifting
bricks. Dodge the boos as you work your way right, then slide under a brick to
get a 1up Mushroom before you enter the door.

Hit the flying box to stop it moving, then dodge the boos and use a running
jump to hit the goal!

---------
World 5-5
---------

There are many clouds in this stage hiding items, ledges and other things.
Remember that you can use your spin jump to help blow away these clouds.

Ride the rays as this stage scrolls right and get the Ice Flower from the item
box in the clouds. Grab a propeller block in more clouds just before taking
the first Star Coin.

Dodge some bullet bills and hit the P Switch down low as it gets carried away
by a ray. Continue right to reach the midway flag on the next ledge.

Walk right to drop down a ledge and hit the half-hidden POW Block, then fill
your pockets with the falling coins. Take an Ice Flower from the first item
box and switch it for a Propeller Mushroom in the second item box. Jump to the
cloud up high while you dodge some bullet bills and reveal the second Star
Coin.

Jump across more rays and carry the POW Block on one of them until you see a
"W" shape of coins in the sky. Throw the POW Block when the rays are under the
coins to release them and get the third Star Coin, then continue right until
you can use the next pipe.

Drop down and spin jump left to blow away some clouds, then take the propeller
block and use it to reach the goal!

---------------------
World 5 - Warp Cannon
---------------------

You can reach this Warp Cannon by finding the secret goal in World 5 - Ghost
House, which is detailed above. Grab a few coins and enter the cannon to warp
straight to World 8.

----------------------
World 5 - Iggys Castle
----------------------

Take the Ice Flower from the first pair of item boxes and dodge the podaboos.
Climb the spinning fence while dodging occasional magic shots, then jump past
more podaboos while moving from fence to fence. Take the Propeller Mushroom
above the dry bones, then you have a choice. Either fall to the first Star
Coin and quickly spin jump before you hit the lava, or hug the wall and
wall-jump out of the pit once you have the Star Coin.

Jump past more podaboos and climb up the left side of the next fence to reach a
hidden door.

Watch the groups of podaboos carefully as you get to the ground level, then
wait for the fence to rise in the middle. Climb the fence to reach the second
Star Coin and work your way back through the door above.

Jump a few more gaps past a dry bones and some vertical fences, then watch for
the new spinning fences with a blue bar across them. Jump on top of the bar as
they spin, to make it across and touch the red coin ring above if you need it.
Jump past one more dry bones to reach the midway flag.

Carefully jump from the top of the fences past more podaboos and get the third
Star Coin on the way.

Take an Ice Flower as the magic shots start flying at you in pairs, then take
the low road past another podaboo to get a Propeller Mushroom. Bounce off of
the checkered blocks and spin jump to reach the doors that lead to Iggy.

----------------
Boss: Iggy Koopa
----------------

This time Iggy has a chain chomp to mix things up a bit. The chain chomp pulls
Iggys platform in one direction along the track in short bursts. He
occasionally fires a single magic shot while being pulled around. You want to
stay behind Iggy and jump on him.

This makes the chain chomp angry as he moves towards you faster for a brief
period. So run away until he calms down and returns to his normal colour.

After you hit Iggy a second time, the chain chomp stays angry for the rest of
the fight. Iggy also uses a pair of magic shots just to keep things
interesting.

Move fast away from the chain chomp to catch up with Iggy, then land your final
hit before grabbing your fifth key and finishing World 5!

Be sure to save your game and decide whether to collect any Star Coins or Toads
that you missed in this world, or move on to the next World.

###############################################################################
(G-06) WORLD 6
###############################################################################

---------
World 6-1
---------

Take the Ice Flower while dodging the balls being thrown down from the spikes
above. Carefully sidle past more spikes and koopas, then collect some coins
and dodge bullet bills as you see their rotating cannons. The arrow on the
cannon indicates which side the bullet bill will fire out of.

Jump across the moving platforms and grab an Ice Flower from the next item box,
then bounce off the bullet bills to get the first Star Coin above the next
spike. If you want an easier time with this, you can return to this stage with
a Propeller Mushroom.

Climb up the wall and sidle across more ledges, then hang as you hit the wall
to continue right. Carefully climb up towards the first spike after the ball
passes you, then climb down the other side with similar timing to reach the
midway flag.

Collect the Ice Flower from the left item box and dodge more bullet bills, then
take the second Star Coin between the moving platforms.

Do a running jump left from the top of the rising platforms and jump more gaps
to reach a pipe up here.

Hit the P Switch and throw the ice cubes to collect the coins, then enter the
next pipe on your right to return.

Hit the red coin ring to collect some red coins above, then sidle right to the
wall. Hang as soon as a bullet bill passes under you, then rush right and
climb up again. Continue working your way right past a barrage of bullet bills
and choose your item up ahead.

Now here's the tricky part, wait for the cannon high up on your left to fire a
bullet bill at you from its lower half. Now run right past the spikes and
climb down and right past more spikes. Quickly jump right to a ledge and wait
for the bullet bill to catch up with you. Bounce up from the bullet bill and
wall-jump off the left wall to reach the third Star Coin up here.

With that Star Coin behind you, all that remains is to drop down and jump right
to the goal!

---------
World 6-2
---------

Walk through the wall and wall-jump up to some coins, then go down the pipe.

Jump the piranha and watch for falling spinys as you collect some coins. Take
the Ice Flower up ahead and do a running jump over the giant piranha, then grab
a spiny shell. Throw the shell left over the bricks so that it breaks the lone
brick near the piranha. Walk through the wall to get the first Star Coin, then
move right for the midway flag.

Take an Ice Flower from the middle item box and throw a shell right if you want
to slide towards a few coins. Hit the lone brick in the shaft with a shell to
get a 1up Mushroom, then watch for some goombas and piranhas by the hill.
Freeze them and jump up to the second Star Coin above you.

Jump the swoopers as you release a Power Star from the second item box on the
spinning ground, then rush right to a second ground wheel and wait until a pipe
appears on the wheel that you can go down.

Hit the P Switch and watch for the spinys as you jump up from the middle brick.
Take the third Star Coin and any other coins that you can, then go through the
pipe on your right.

Hit the red coin ring and slide down the hill, then dodge the spiny as you
reach a piranha and some sledge brothers. Jump in the air before these guys
stomp the ground or you'll be stunned. Use the POW Block to take them out and
release some coins, then use the pipe to your right.

Avoid the spiny and jump up the steps to reach the goal on the other side!

---------
World 6-3
---------

Go down the closer pipe and hit the yellow switch at the bottom, then swim up
with the water. Head down with the giant piranha if you have a death wish or
want the 1up Mushroom from the right brick. Carefully keep right past another
big piranha to get the Fire Flower above, then run down one more hill to the
third big piranha. Use the buzzy beetle on your right to kill the piranha,
then use a wall-jump to get the first Star Coin above you.

Carry another buzzy beetle shell right past the yellow switch and use it to
take out another big piranha. Ride the platform up to the second Star Coin,
then hit the yellow switch to make the water rise. Take the Fire Flower at the
top and follow the pipe to some falling buzzy beetles and the midway flag.

Take the Fire Flower and use it on a few big piranhas, then look for the row of
bricks above. Break the left couple and wall-jump through the gap, then
continue your wall-jumps all the way up the pipes to reach another room.

Take the third Star Coin and Fire Flower, then collect the other coins and
return down the next pipe.

Keep right past some stretching piranhas and some giant ones, then jump up the
ledges for another Fire Flower and a yellow switch. Hit the switch and swim
right with the water, then quickly swim up the shaft before the water drains
once more.

Book it right and roast some final piranhas, then leap to the goal just ahead
of you.

---------------------
World 6 - Bullet Bill
---------------------

There are cannons on the map that you can walk past to get to the stages
beyond. If you get caught by a bullet bill from one of these cannons, then you
get to fight some bullet bills. The nice part is you can just watch the
cannons and rush past when there are no bullet bills in your path.

Watch out for pits and use the moving platform to your advantage. Avoid the
bullet bills, or bounce off of them while you collect the usual eight toad
icons. Finally, open the chest and collect three Super Mushrooms.

---------
World 6-4
---------

Take the Propeller Mushroom from the left item box and start attacking monty
moles. Grab Yoshi from the next pair of item boxes and keep right past more
monty moles. Look high above the coins to reach the first Star Coin with a
spin jump or by jumping off of Yoshi.

Jump some koopas and more monty moles, then climb the ledges and look left for
a P Switch between a pair of item boxes. Hit the switch and follow the trail
of blue coins, then carefully jump across the seesaw platforms (or use the
ledges above them) as you reach the midway flag.

Walk left off the ledge and fall right, then jump off Yoshi if you're still
riding him or use a spin jump as Propeller Mario to reach the pipe down here.

Do a spin jump up to the POW Block, then hit it to release a pile of coins.
Grab the second Star coin among the rest and use the next pipe on your right.

Go left and hit the left item box for a Propeller Mushroom and cross more
seesaw platforms to get some red coins. Dodge the koopas and monty moles on
your way, then grab a Yoshi from the item box. Weigh down the left side of the
next seesaw platform pair and jump from the right side to a fake wall above.
Stroll right for a few coins and the third Star Coin as you come out the other
side.

Go down the pipe and work your magic with more seesaw platforms before jumping
to the goal!

--------------------------
World 6 - Mortons Fortress
--------------------------

Jump up the platforms and rush across to the Ice Flower when the spike post
sinks. Quickly jump left over more ledges to get another Ice Flower, then wait
for the spike post to lower once more. Jump right up more ledges and look for
an alcove in the left wall. If you go through the fake wall there, you can get
a few more coins. Jump up to the dry bones and moving platform when it's safe,
then look for an alcove on the left wall at the same height as the dry bones.
Jump through this fake wall to get the first Star Coin.

Continue your climb past another dry bones and a group of four moving
platforms. Bounce up the checkered blocks to reach the midway flag on your
left.

Use a wall-jump to get the second Star Coin where the two spike posts meet in
the middle of this shaft.

Take an Ice Flower on your right by the dry bones, then hit the red coin ring
and go down the pipes to be shot diagonally. Jump your way up the moving
platforms while trying to avoid the spike post and stay on the right side of
it. Wall-jump from the highest moving platform when the spike post is rising,
to get the third Star Coin above.

Take the Fire Flower and go right past the spike post, then enter the doors and
get ready to beat up Morton.

---------------------
Boss: Morton Koopa Jr
---------------------

There's a lot going on in Morton's fight so be on your guard! There's lava at
the edges and spike posts coming down beside the lava on alternating sides.

Otherwise Morton fires a magic shot and does a small jump, then does a big one
with a stomp that can stun you. So be sure to jump before he lands his stomp
and introduce him to your feet or flames.

It's tough dodging his shell after scoring a hit, because it moves over a small
distance. Plus you can't wait too long under a spike post. Count each time
the shell bumps into the wall, because Morton reappears after 7 bumps.

After two hits from you, Morton fires two magic shots instead of one. Plan
your last hit and make it count to finish the fight.

---------
World 6-5
---------

Take the Fire Flower and use it to temporarily get rid of the fish below, then
collect some coins and hit the middle bricks for some more. Stomp the item
boxes if you want a few more coins, then watch for rising water as you take a
Fire Flower above you. Sink down for the first Star Coin and a 1up Mushroom.

Keep right past the returning fish and some more coins, then touch the midway
flag.

Take the Fire Flower from the top right item box, then keep right past more
moving water to get the second Star Coin down low.

Jump to the lone brick near the coins in the sky, then pick up the propeller
block and start collecting those coins.

[Secret Goal]

Look for the four item boxes below you, then jump or swim up the middle of them
to reveal a hidden item box. Climb up the beanstalk that grows from the box to
reach another area.

Pick up the propeller block and get some coins above, then go right to the
second floating box. Jump right from this box and spin to reach the third Star
Coin and the secret goal!

Spin right past more koopas, coins and the same old fish, then enter the pipe
on your right.

Jump from the low item box to the platform and on to the goal on your right!

---------------------
World 6 - Secret Pipe
---------------------

You can reach this pipe by finding the secret goal in World 6-5, which is
detailed above. The pipe will take you to Mortons Castle in this world.

---------
World 6-6
---------

Slide down the hill to a raft and hit the yellow switch to turn on the lights
(which you can control by tilting the remote). Take a Fire Flower from the
second item box and grab the springboard if you want, then hit the next lone
item box for another Fire Flower. Take the POW Block and throw it under the
coins to release the first Star Coin.

Hit the lone brick among the pipes and piranhas to get a Power Star, then take
out more piranhas before the raft drops and you reach the midway flag on the
next ledge.

Drop to your raft on the other side and pick up the springboard above, then
watch out for swoopers and take the Ice Flower from the next item box. Use the
springboard or a swooper to bounce up to the second Star Coin.

Use the springboard once more to hit a P Switch in the ceiling, then collect
some blue coins and bounce off some swoopers to get a propeller block. Wait
for the lone brick and take a running jump left on top, then keep left to get
the third Star Coin.

Spin right for a barrel as you throw it at the fire brothers that are shooting
fireballs at you.

[Secret Goal]

Go up high where the Fire Brothers are and look for a pink pipe to enter.

Pick up the light block and follow the winding path right past a number of
swoopers, then enter another pipe.

Hit the yellow switch to reveal a small moving platform, then jump to the
secret goal from that platform!

Hit the item box for a Fire Flower and carefully dodge the remaining fireballs
before using a pipe.

Hit the yellow switch to reveal a moving platform, then jump to the goal from
that platform!

---------------------
World 6 - Warp Cannon
---------------------

You can reach this Warp Cannon by finding the secret goal in World 6-6, which
is detailed above. Grab a few coins and enter the cannon to warp straight to
World 8.

------------------------
World 6 - Mortons Castle
------------------------

Go right to the tilting platform and hit the highest item box for an Ice
Flower. Watch for podaboos and dry bones as you work your way to an Ice Flower
in the highest item box of the next group. Wait for the left edge of the next
platform to dip before you jump, then carefully jump across the moving bricks
and speed past some dry bones for the first Star Coin.

Stomp the last brick for a 1up Mushroom and jump past more podaboos to the next
tilting platforms. Dodge the rolling spike balls and carefully jump up the
pair of boxes (as they sink) just left of the second Star Coin.

Head right and jump to the next ledge as this end of your platform rises, then
touch the midway flag and go down the pipe.

Dodge the podaboo and watch for falling spike balls as you jump across the
moving blocks below. Attack some dry bones and jump to another tilting
platform, then hit the far right item box to release an Ice Flower. Keep right
until you reach the last tilting platform under the third Star Coin, then jump
up from the right side when it rises up.

Hit the next item box to get equipped with a Fire Flower, then head through the
nearby doors to test your might against Morton once more.

---------------------
Boss: Morton Koopa Jr
---------------------

Morton takes two quick jumps before he stomps in this fight. The main
difference is that the two blocks on either side of him shoot up the ceiling to
crush you right after he hits the ground with his stomp.

After two of your hits by fireball burst or jumping, then Morton hops a bit
higher on his initial pair of hops, but otherwise his pattern remains the same.

Try to keep your distance until you know his pattern, then jump on him at will.
You can also use your fireballs down low until the blocks rise up, then jump on
top and fire down on him. Score your final hit and snatch up your sixth key!

-----------------
World 6 - Airship
-----------------

The wheels in this stage are easier to handle if you pay attention to which way
they're moving and try jumping straight up to buy you a bit of time to think.

Take an Ice Flower from the item box and carefully jump past the mecha-koopas
and rockey wrenches. Carefully jump across the spinning wheels as you dodge
any wrenches flying at you, then stomp the crates to reach the first Star Coin.

Follow the camera down the airship as you come to more crates, then stomp them
so that you can get inside the green pipe.

Carefully jump across the wheels as you grab the second Star Coin, then enter
the pipe on your right and use the midway flag.

Hit the red coin ring and collect the red coins among the wheels, then watch
for rocky wrenches as you stomp more crates and collect the third Star Coin.

Dodge more rocky wrenches and some mecha-koopas, including one on a small wheel
that you should freeze or bounce off of. Take an Ice Flower above the next
wheel and continue right past another mecha-koopa on a wheel. Jump to solid
ground and hug the far right wall to reveal a 1up Mushroom above, then enter
the pipe.

---------------
Boss: Bowser Jr
---------------

The walls in this room are electrified, but on the plus side you get your own
copter to fly around in. Fly towards Bowser Jr and shake the remote to charge
at him.

If your charge connects, then you'll knock him back in that direction. The
same holds true for his charges if he hits you with one so watch out.

You want to knock Bowser Jr into the electrified walls to score a hit. Try
hitting him right after he misses with one of his charges, or when he's moving
away from you to.

After you hit him into the walls three times, both the fight and World 6 are
done!

Be sure to save your game and decide whether to collect any Star Coins or Toads
that you missed in this world, or move on to the next World.

###############################################################################
(G-07) WORLD 7
###############################################################################

---------
World 7-1
---------

*COMING SOON*

###############################################################################
(H) SECRETS
###############################################################################

-------
World 9
-------

Once you beat the first 8 worlds of the game you will unlock world 9. World 9
has 8 stages inside and these stages only appear by finding all Star Coins in
the previous 8 worlds. World 9-1 appears when you find all Star Coins from
world 1 for example.

---------------
Save File Stars
---------------

To really show that you've mastered the game, there are five possible stars
that you can earn for your save file according to the criteria below. They're
really just for bragging rights, but a nice extra touch.

Star 1 - Beat World 8 (warp cannons optional).
Star 2 - Get all star coins in worlds 1 to 8.
Star 3 - Get all star coins from world 9.
Star 4 - Find all secret and normal goals in the game and use all warp cannons
and secret pipes.
Star 5 - Find the normal goal in every stage.

Supposedly there is a way to make the stars sparkle like the vampire in that
movie series, Blade.

You must make sure that the green Super Guide box doesn't appear on any stage.
Regardless of whether or not you use it, you can't even allow the box to
APPEAR.

-----------
Missing Hat
-----------

Once you earn 99 lives in the game Mario loses his hat. Once you lose one more
life he gets his hat back.

------------
Fake Secrets
------------

There was a rumour that you can get platinum stars by never losing a life even
once through the whole game. It has been proven fake, so don't waste your time
on this one unless you just want the personal challenge.

Monster Hunter Freedom Unite PSP Review

2009-12-05T16:50:00.000-08:00

Monster Hunter Freedom Unite is the latest installment into the Monster Hunter franchise that has taken the PSP by storm in Japan since its first outing way back in 2004. This iteration of the game was actually released in Japan some time ago under the name of Monster Hunter Portable 2nd G and it looked to improve on the formula that had been so successful. Despite its success in Japan, the Monster Hunter franchise has never really taken off in the West, something that Monster Hunter Freedom Unite is hoping to change.

Following a less than successful monster hunt in the opening cutscene, players will find themselves fully rested. A short explanation is given about the role of the Monster Hunter and that's essentially the introduction to the game. Those looking for a deep and meaningful story will be sorely disappointed as aside from the introduction, there is essentially nothing else. Generally there is a brief introduction about why a monster needs to be hunted, but the majority of the time it's fairly irrelevant.

While the lack of a compelling story might seem like a big issue, it is completely negated by the depth of everything else. The game starts players off with a basic set of armor, and a whole host of weapons to choose from. These range from the basic sword and shield combination, to bows and there are also odd choices, such as a hunting horn. It definitely helps to keep things fresh and allows players to really express themselves. Certain monsters will also be much easier using particular weapons, so it also adds a layer of strategy to the planning and preparation. If a monster is too hard to hunt, it might be a lot easier if a different weapon is used.

Equipment may be plentiful in its basic qualities, but there is also an extremely deep upgrading system that compliments all of the different varieties of armor and weaponry. Due to their being no levelling system, the only way to improve a character is by upgrading their gear and it makes the whole system seem much more rewarding. New armor upgrades are only shown if certain pieces are acquired, but finding all of the necessary items gives players something to aim for. Players will also have the opportunity to hire Felynes for their kitchen and they can even tend to their own farm. Both will allow them to gain new items as they look to improve their gear even further and improve their performance in combat.

Unfortunately the huge level of customization is overshadowed by less than flawless controls during actual combat. Typically, weapons have two attack types and these are controlled by using the circle and triangle buttons. The right trigger can also be used to perform different attacks, and while it is possible to chain moves together, the level of combinations is extremely limited. It does mean that it's very easy to memorize and become familiar with the various weapons, but it feels very shallow. The camera can also be quite troublesome sometimes as it is manually controlled by the d-pad. It's often easier to simply press the left trigger, which positions the camera in a set way, but this isn't always the view required. Trying to move while manually changing the camera using the d-pad isn't an ideal situation.

These shortcomings do detract from the gameplay slightly, but they don't take away from the satisfaction of achieving objectives in Monster Hunter Freedom Unite. While monsters may start off relatively small, it isn't long before they really start to diversify. There are many different types, and some of them are extremely large in size; taking them down requires lots of preparation, planning and learning. This is where Monster Hunter really helps to distinguish itself though, as it makes for some epic battles and finally scoring that killing blow can be exceedingly gratifying.

Graphically the game is pretty decent. There is a good selection of environments to track monsters through, but the loading times might get a bit annoying after a while. Each level is divided up into different sections, which all have their own unique feels. However, every time a player goes between these sections, they are greeted by loading screens. It's not a major issue, and it can be improved by doing the optional install, but it can detract from the experience slightly. The main theme to the game is extremely grandiose, but the rest of the music doesn't really distinguish itself.

Where Monster Hunter really shines is its depth. There is a huge number of single-player missions available and these are considerably challenging. Getting anywhere near the end of the game requires some serious dedication, especially with the steep learning curve. Aside from this, there are also missions available to play alongside 3 other players inside the Gathering Hall. This is essentially when Monster Hunter is at its finest, as a group of hunters team up to fight against a formidable foe. It's easy to see hours tick away while playing Monster Hunter because there is just a ridiculous amount of content available.

Monster Hunter offers a huge level of customization for equipment and a vast quantity of missions. It has depth that is simply unrivaled on a portable system, but unfortunately that doesn't make it perfect. The gameplay is a slight thorn in the side, as it suffers from a lack of depth and a poor camera. It's still fun to play though. There is also a lack of any real story, and that might put some off. However, the ability to hunt down huge monsters with three friends isn't an opportunity that should be missed.

Rogue Warrior Review

2009-12-05T16:47:00.000-08:00

Rebellion Games' Rogue Warrior found itself lost among the fall lineup and unfortunately for me, Rogue Warrior should of stayed lost. With Mickey Rourke voicing the protagonist and Bethesda publishing this title, I was surprised at just how bad the game is. I scratched my head while playing asking myself, how could anyone make this game and price it at $60 dollars? In a time where there's more than three games you should buy instantly. Rogue Warrior presents itself as one you should avoid at any cost, literally. Playing as a F-bomb dropping Navy SEAL during the Cold War killing terrorist has never been more boring.

Mickey Rourke voices the lead character, Richard "Dick" Marcinko. Dick is a insubordinate Navy SEAL, who is sent to North Korea to receive intel on some missile launchers. Upon the arrival, Dick's team is killed and is now handed the task to stop a group of Russian terrorist and stop these missiles from being used. The plot seems easy enough to understand, but the heart of the story is lost in translation once Dick opens his mouth and talks. Nearly every word coming out of his mouth consist of one or two obscenities, which I'm sure was suppose to make him seem like a badass but it only makes him seem like a dick. Not only that, but the limited cutscenes and the mission briefings in between makes the story telling dull. You can play this game on mute and you'll know what I know. The campaign can be completed withing three hours or less, so this bumpy ride is over quick.

Rogue Warrior's gameplay mashes up some stealth elements with its first person shooter style. Except, the gameplay doesn't really work out like it should have. The simple things like moving are just done wrong, it feels like the frame rate drops every time you move. The shooting is bad too, if your enemy isn't literally standing next to you, then you have no chance of hitting him. Rogue Warrior does have a cover system, which for the most part is ok, but the hit detection during blind fire is worse than it should be. The stealth elements I mentioned are poor, you can pretty much run behind someone and they wont notice you. Stealth elements also add kill moves which can be performed with a tap of a button. If there's anything interesting in this game, this is it. Watching Dick slice a guy's throat and then blurt out a cheesy one liner, is ok at the most, although the kill moves will get repetitive.

Graphically, Rogue Warrior's graphics are a little less than the standard of what a game should look like in this generation. The grenade explosions look horrible and the enemies look like the ones you just previously killed. The locations aren't really detailed and the textures look poor. The animations also seem stiff and just plain weird, I've seen dead enemies twitching inside of a wall.

On the sound department, Rogue Warrior also lacks. The gun sounds aren't really impressive, they sound like BB gun rounds. But like I said, the real annoyance here is the voice acting. Not so much how Mickey Rourke sounds when he's reading the lines, but the material he was given to read is horrible. Nothing but F-bombs and such, I've even heard him tell an enemy something about putting his hairy balls in their mouth.

Rogue Warrior does offer some multiplayer modes. Only two actually, Deathmatch and Team Deathmatch but I don't see that as a problem. The main problem is that it plays exactly like it does in the single player campaign. I for one cannot see myself playing this game when there's way better online multiplayer games out there. Checking through the leaderboards only about eight hundred people have played online so I doubt you'll even be able to find someone to go up against.

Rogue Warrior is a game you need to avoid this fall. The only thing this game would be good for is to give as a joke gift for Christmas, but note that you'll lose a friend in the process. This mediocre game gets even worse when you see the $60 dollar price point that Bethesda gave the game. From publishing Fallout 3 to this game, it must be some kind of weird joke around the office to publish crappy games like Wet and now this. To wrap this review up; Don't buy this game, read the book, Bethesda hire someone for quality control, and Mickey Rourke fire your agent.

Nintendo DSi Review

2009-12-02T02:06:00.000-08:00

The Nintendo DS was first revealed in 2003 and appeared in North America in 2004 whilst Europe had to wait until 2005 before Nintendo saw fit to let the Old World dwellers gain access to the lump of silver coloured plastic the console was in those days. The arrival of the machine brought with it a signifncant amount of sceptisum and not many were convinced that it would do much to replace the Game Boy Advanced. Fast forward 5 years and things couldn’t be better for the machine. Now all three of the major territories have the Nintendo DSi, the third iteration of the console that has taken the gaming world by storm. So the question is; is it worth upgrading from the DS Lite? Quite possibly, and no this isn’t being written by someone with buyers remorse, I can assure you of that. The main reason behind my reasoning lies in a single yet rather potent and often miss-used word: Potential.

What struck me first when I enountered the DSi is the rough matte finish the machine has. Gone is the finger print lingering gloss from the DS Lite only to be replaced with this scratch prone finish which is a little odd to the touch. Other differences are the two 0.3 megapixel cameras and the lack of GBA port in the bottom of the console. This means add-ons such as the rumble pack and the Guitar Hero controller will not work with this version of the DS. I suspect this annoys the execs within Activision but considering the install base of the DS they should have little to fear. Other changes include the relocation of the power slider to a button on the lower left hand side of the touch screen and the volume slider has been moved to the left hand side of the console and turned into a rocker button. Where the power slider used to be is now an SD Card slot. This is a very important change to the DS format and one I will expand on later in this review.

Under the hood of the DSi things get really quite interesting. The CPU is an ARM processor, similar to the original DS only this time its running at 133 Mhz as opposed to 67 Mhz. The ram has been increased to 16 Mb, up from 4Mb in the previous iterations of the machine. There is also internal flash memory unit with a 256 Mb limit and an updated WiFi capability to bring it up to date with current security encryption such as WPA2. The screens are also slightly larger and brighter with a size of 3.25 inches as opposed to the originals 3 inches. A small increase I grant you but it is noticable. The SD Card slot provides additional storage space for pictures, AAC sound files and applications downloaded from the DSi Shop. It is this last addition that has interested me the most as it opens up a new world of downloadable content hithertoo the preserve of Sony’s PSP, the iPhone and Nokia’s N-Gage. It is clear to me that this is Nintendo’s answer to Sony’s, Nokia’s and indeed Apple’s attempts at muscling in on the hand held space Nintendo have lorded over since the release of the GameBoy in 1989.

When starting up the DSi for the first time I was asked a series of questions such as online handle, birthday, favourite colour and, most interestingly of all, means by which I wished to connect the DSi to the Internet. The DSi is very much built around the online experience and it encourages you to connect the machine to the Internet as soon as possible. Yes you can use the machine offline but getting it online opens up a library of games you won’t find on store shelves. for me this is the most appealing aspect of the machine, far more than the sound and image creation/manipulation software that has been spoken of and raised in profile by Nintendo themselves. Granted I will be exploring these aspects of the DSi in this review, but indulge me for a moment as I expand on the DSi and what it has to offer as well as what it will provide in the future.

When I first put my DSi online I was greeted with a series of options that did allow me to connect the machine via my highly secured WiFi. A WPA2 encrypted network I don’t even advertise the SSID, which I know is a tad paranoid but it makes me feel better. Up until now I’ve had to use Nintendo’s WiFi USB device to act as a bridge connection which works fine but does require a PC to be on whilst I use my DS online. Thankfully the DSi could bypass this and go straight to the router, but sadly I learnt that this only works for the DSi’s built in OS and later games for the machine. Older titles will not support WPA2, so those hoping to do away with their Nintendo WiFi USB dongle will have their dreams dashed as they must hang on to it if they wish to continue to play Mario Kart DS online.

As I popped online I linked my DSi to my Club Nintendo account at which point I was granted 1000 DSi points for free. These points can be to used to buy applications and games found on the DSi Shop in a very similar way to the Wii Shop found on the DSi’s much bigger brother. It’s so similar in fact that Wii users that have used the Wii Store, as I have, frequently will be very much at home with the DSi Store. The menu is almost exactly the same, with the major difference being the download animation being Nintendo characters filling a bucket of water as opposed to Mario jumping under blocks.

When buying software from the DSi Shop the applications and games are split into categories such as recent, popular etc. They are also split based on price which range from 200 DSi points to ‘Premium’, the latter of which is not available at the launch of the DSi. Both Europe and the US have slightly different rosters of titles available at present so I shall only discuss what is commonly available to both territories for the purpose of this review. First off we have the web browser that is a free download. This is the same Opera based browser that was released for the DS previously only no RAM expansion is required thanks to the DSi’s increased RAM capacity. Whilst free it is also quite poor. It is slow and difficult to use. Sony, Apple and other smart phone vendors have little to fear from the DSi on this front. This also applies to the cameras, but I’ll discuss that later.

As to the games there are two 200 DSi point titles that are mildly diverting. Paper Plane has the player controlling a constantly falling paper plane (the clue is in the title) that can only be guided by the D-pad. It can be played in 2-5 minute bursts, perfect for those shot bus hops or quick changes on the London Underground. The other title I tried was Pyoro. This is an odd little game that has the player controlling a little bird that happens to have a very long tongue. The aim of the game is to collect fruit from the sky. The further away the fruit that is grabbed, the higher the score. If the player misses the fruit a section of the floor Pyoro is standing on falls away, restricting his movement to a smaller section. The game ends when one of the falling fruits hits Pyoro on the head. The game reminded me of the old Game and Watch titles Nintendo made back in the early 80’s and is again a pleasant 3-5 minute diversion, but nothing more.

I also tried the Warioware: Snapped! game that was on offer at the DSi Shop. Costing 500 DSi points this title has a little more to offer. Like every other Warioware game that has appeared, its aim is to make a bit of a fool of the player. It makes a significant use of the inward facing camera and has the player moving about as they attempt to swat flies, wear falling hats and punch themselves repeatedly in the face. OK I lied about the last one but I was waiting for the game to ask me to do such a thing. It’s somewhat like Sony’s Eye Toy only in compact form. It’s also not very mobile as doing these actions on public transport will likely get you arrested.

So that’s the online store, what about the cameras and the sound editing? Well the sound editing appears to have fallen out of the same brain as the person who came up with Wii Music. It’s a pointless application that allows the user to record sounds then manipulate them by adding an echo, changing it to a buzzer and so on. You’re much better off playing with the Korg DS-10 than this thing quite frankly.

The cameras can be used in conjuntion with an image editor to create pictures that can be saved to an SD Card. The image above is of me that has been altered to such an extent that my face has pretty much been obliterated. Again this sort of thing exists on smart phones such as the iPhone and Nokia N96 for some time and there is nothing new here. Whilst it’s diverting for a moment or two to mess around with captured images via the stylus, it doesn’t hold one’s interest for long. The image manipulator strikes me as little more than a tech demo for developers to view as a means to inspire them, more so than a fun gadget for the end user. This may be a hint of the Jaded Gamer affecting me however, who knows?

The DSi is not what many were expecting when it appeared late last year. The cameras and the removal of the GBA slot confused many and the addition of the SD Card raised yet more questions. But there is more to the unit than these additions. The cameras are there to alter DS games by including camera support. How developers will exploit this is anybodies guess but something will come of it. The closest I have seen is the camera control used in Metal Gear Solid Mobile on the N-Gage so maybe we’ll see something similar for the DSi, who knows?

But what really peaks my interest is the DSi Shop and its interaction with the SD Card. I hope that DSi Ware will be a portal for games developers who lack the funds to get their games distributed in the traditional way. Non-traditional titles that all too often will get swept away by the Brain Trainings me-too titles that plague the DS will find a permanent home on the DSi Ware platform. We may even see the likes of World of Goo there if we’re lucky. In fact that title would be perfect for the platform if you think about it!

So yes the DSi could be regarded as a very small increment to the DS, but for the reasons given above I believe it has the potential to become a potent force on the digital distribution of hand-held games. So if you want to support independent games and their development, you’d do well to take a long hard look at the DSi. For it indeed does have potential.

Assassin's Creed 2 Review

2009-12-01T15:16:00.000-08:00

Assassin's Creed II what may be the best action/adventure title of 2009—and a genuine contender for Game of the Year.

As compelling a character as Ezio is, the star of the show is Renaissance Italy itself. From the streets of Medici-controlled Florence to the canals of Venice to the cathedrals of Rome, Ubisoft Montreal has created the most believable world in a game this year. These cities are full of commoners, tradesmen, thieves and prostitutes...some of whom might help you—for a price. The sense of place is also aided immeasurably by the inclusion of historically significant figures, including Lorenzo de Medici, Caterina Sforza and many more, all of whom have detailed histories that explain their place in the tumultuous Renaissance period. Then there's Leonardo da Vinci, who serves as a confidante and purveyor of gadgets and intelligence to Ezio, decoding the mysterious documents regarding the objects the Assassins and Templars seek. These often contain the schematics for new tools of your trade, including a wrist-fired musket and a poison-delivery system for your assassin's blade.

The narrative progresses through objectives indicated with an exclamation mark on your map. While you aren't able to choose the type of task you perform in order to move forward, there's a good mix of mission types, and there are enough that it'll rarely feel like you're doing the same thing for very long. You also have the option to undertake side missions if you'd like, from assassination contracts to races and more, though these are never required (and in over 25 hours of gameplay, I never did a single race or extracurricular assassination contract). Collectibles have also been revised and yield monetary rewards or more powerful weapons and armor. These activities are held together by the extremely satisfying free-running mechanic, which continues to define the series, and Ezio is much more likely than Altaïr to go where you expect while leaping from platform to platform. Rooftop paths are marked more clearly, and you can finally swim, correcting one of Assassin's Creed's primary sources of frustration.

There's also a series of 20 symbols hidden around the world that reveal puzzles that unlock "The Truth," a hidden manifesto from the 16th Animus test subject. If you're interested in the game's fiction, you'll want to unravel the mystery, but you'll have your work cut out for you. While the initial puzzles aren't particularly difficult, by the end, you'll likely be scratching your head for quite a while.

Ubisoft has seen fit to add an economy system to ACII as well, should you choose to explore it: Your family's ancestral estate has fallen into disrepair, and it's up to you to commission its reconstruction (or not). Upgrades are optional, but as you renovate your city, the changes bring in more and more money, depositing funds into an account for you over time. This money, in addition to the financial rewards you receive for completing objectives, can be used to buy new and better equipment. It's not a huge addition, but it does serve to more deeply invest you in the game world.

Confrontation remains focused on stealthy assassinations and the rhythm-based counter system from the last game, with new additions to your repertoire providing more options in combat. While the swords and knives from the last game return, you'll now find axes, hammers and pole-arms added to the mix. These all require different timing to counter and be countered, but also add new tactics, from sweeping multiple targets with a spear to bludgeoning past an enemy's guard with a heavy weapon. The disarm ability is especially useful, enabling you to steal your enemies weapons, which becomes particularly important against more heavily armed opponents. Counters remain your primary resource for kills, but standard melee combat has been redone; a simple but elegant combo system reminiscent of Fable 2 is in place, where timing button presses correctly yields a fluid series of attacks.

Unfortunately, the new additions do bring some minor problems. It remains entirely too easy to accidentally kill civilians, especially with the dual wristblades. More than once, I moved to assassinate a guard from behind only to look on in horror as an overeager Ezio thrust his arms out in both directions, skewering the armored guard and the nice lady in the yellow dress to my left. There were also times when I dropped a primary weapon inadvertently as I switched to my bare hands in order to disarm enemies, unable to pick it back up again. There are also graphical problems here and there, including occasional clipping issues where objects or limbs will poke through walls and benches, and some ugly textures during in-engine cutscenes. However, these issues are mitigated by a smooth 30fps frame rate with zero tearing, both rampant problems in the original game.

It's rare to find a sequel to an ambitious but flawed title up the ante the way that Assassin's Creed II does. Ubisoft Montreal has successfully addressed the failings of the first game while simultaneously raising the bar even further for itself. The end result is a game that takes the free-running and huge cityscapes of its predecessor, then adds in a host of action/RPG elements that combine to form a much deeper and more satisfying game, and a surprise frontrunner for the best of 2009.

Dragon Age: Origins Review

2009-11-13T15:18:00.000-08:00

It's rare that I spend this much time on a game with as many problems as Dragon Age: Origins. It's even more rare that I'm enthralled enough, despite many issues, to want to keep playing for a great deal longer.

With this fantasy role-playing game BioWare ditches many of the advancements of Mass Effect -- like emotion-based dialogue trees and accompanying animated "performances" -- and goes resolutely old-school. But as a friend once said when the Beastie Boys rediscovered their roots on "Hello Nasty," the old school was never quite like this.

Superficially, Dragon Age looks like a dozen other fantasy RPGs. A young hero is assimilated into warrior subculture, then tasked with undertaking a quest to save his civilization, each step of which leads to additional side quests. There are elves and dwarves, dragons and chainmail, swords and bows. Arrows and spells fly in battle. Young gamers will think it looks a lot like World of Warcraft; those who've been around will instantly recall BioWare's 1998 RPG Baldur's Gate.

BioWare hasn't just recalled the feeling of that earlier effort. The aesthetics are there, too. This is one brown, blocky, ugly game. It would've looked great on the original Xbox. I played on the Xbox 360, but the interface was obviously designed with a PC in mind. Nested submenus accommodate your spells and combat commands; accessing all but your most-used commands takes concentration and renders any combat beyond one-on-one encounters awkward at best.

The world isn't quite a routine Tolkien knockoff. Elves are a societal subclass often relegated to slums. Mages are looked upon with suspicion and policed by magic-resistant Templars. The frontier of civilization is threatened by a definite enemy, the Darkspawn, but civil war still brews. Keeping your head down and going with the flow seems like the best way to stay alive; there is scant glory in heroism. The real danger isn't the encroaching Darkspawn (which really are stripped straight from Tolkien) but the selfish motives of men. Oh, OK, that's Tolkien, too. Dammit!

But there are the characters, written with enough detail for you to earn an emotional connection, and the possible ways to approach the story, which are as plentiful as the loot you'll scavenge. The witch-mage Morrigan is resentful and sneaky, but powerful and an essential battle ally. Alistair is a warrior with confidence issues and a past he's afraid to live up to. I could go on, but I'll limit myself to this: Get a dog when the opportunity arises, and think twice about executing a would-be assassin who can become a valuable party addition.

For every two or three hours of grind, you'll hit a tension point that is more potent than the climax of most games. Just playing through my character's prologue (I've rolled a few heroes, but my primary playthrough was with a City Elf mage), I had to think long and hard about how to resolve two conversations. Should I put my allegiance in a friend, or with my superiors? Who do I trust, and who do I sell out?

Those tension points set the tone for the entire game. While the grind is off-putting, coupled as it is with interface difficulties that had me reloading some battles a dozen times, the best beats in the story are like treats dangling from a stick, leading you on. They're not groundbreaking or original; quite a few places felt like homage to established styles. Here's the "Twilight Zone" moment, here's the Alexandre Dumas point, etc. But they work in context, and they take advantage of each character's weaknesses and idiosyncrasies.

Turning points in the tale, both those obviously major and many seemingly minor, become real moments of existential character assessment. "Moral choice" is a pathetic marketing term that has been applied to many games in which proffered binary "either/or" scenarios really represent no choice at all. Yet in a series of games that includes Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic and Mass Effect, BioWare has been one of the few developers willing to revel in the grey zone of moral relativity. Dragon Age is a respectable achievement in that arena.

Conflict can spring up within the party as easily as without. Every member of your motley band of adventurers has an opinion of your choices and actions. They're not shy about expressing their approval or lack thereof. There's a meter for each character that gives you a general idea of how they feel about you, but it doesn't have to reach rock bottom before they'll decide to split or take action.

For example, I was in the middle of one quest, arguably an unnecessary detour from the path to the main goal of the game. I didn't see it as a sideline, but Sten, a stoic warrior I'd gone to some small trouble to remove from jail earlier in the game, was vocal about his opinion that we were wasting our time. The impromptu conversation led to an argument, which Sten thought I lost. He proclaimed that he was taking over the party. We fought and I won, barely. At that point I had a couple of dialogue options: commanding, passive-aggressive, whiny, etc. Figuring that Sten would respond best to command, I treated him like a dog that had just stepped out of line. My reward? This message: "Sten approves. +6."

As I delved deeper into the mysteries that bound the lives of my party members, though, irritations generated by the clunky interface never eased. I found that I had to save the game like I was playing a late-'90s PC game; that is, manually and often, as the auto-save was despicably unreliable. And without frequently exploring each character's submenus, it was far too easy to forget unlocked spells and abilities.

Most frustrating: Routine battles could turn into decimations, as no matter how intricately I used the options to program my party's artificial intelligence, characters rarely used abilities to their fullest. Each character has a set of "tactics" slots through which you can specify various battle conditions and how the character should respond. So you might tell a rogue to use his bow when enemies are at middle distance, but to get in close and activate his dual poisoned weapons when they approach to melee range. In theory, this offers the ultimate in AI customization. In practice, it turns into a chore with unreliable results.

The weakness of the party AI was drawn in sharp relief in one encounter where I faced shadow recreations of the characters. The enemies appeared tuned to attack at full power, and immediately devastated my own intricately tuned group of adventurers. The abilities open to each character are interesting and balanced, but applying them properly in battle is a serious and often infuriating undertaking. I often felt as if I was fighting the game, rather than the enemy.

If I had been playing on a PC, I would have been brave enough to turn on one of the upper difficulty levels that enables friendly fire. But on the 360, I figured that was about as advisable as jumping from a plane with no parachute.

Small bugs linger in the code. The most pervasive I saw came when saving near an unopened door. When reloading that save, the game treats the door as open even though it is closed; enemies behind it will see and react to you, but you won't be able to open the door. Area-effect weapons sometimes do the trick. Reloading to an earlier save always does. "+5 to frustration."

But as those penalties mounted, I still wanted to hunt down the next big decision. A well-known breed of RPG player is a loot hound. They'll click on for hours in search of the most elusive little trinkets and weapons hidden in a game world. BioWare's game makes me feel like a variant: the conflict hound. I'm a pig sniffing for conversational truffles, digging through everyday dirt for those small, rare moments where characters and situations come together in potent sequence. Dragon Age has kept me hunting for a few dozen hours already, and the reward is sweet enough that I'm going to keep at it.

Borderlands Review Final

2009-11-04T20:08:00.000-08:00

Borderlands is a first-person perspective role playing game featuring guns a lot of guns. Its balance is light on the character development and heavy on the firepower, with really only the most cursory attempt at an over-arching plot. Your character is one of four murderous types with no apparent back story or past who are literally fresh off the bus onto a backwater planet full of psychotic banditos in a quest for a big pie of treasure. Now run along and shoot someone in the face.

The plot, such as it is, will involve you doing various quests collected from notice boards and the rare NPCs, with the emphasis usually on extermination and assassination rather than fetch and carry. The setting is a different planet, but you couldnt slide a rusty razor between it and a good old fashioned post-apocalyptic wasteland, complete with ramshackle huts, mutant beasts and nutters dressed in leather chaps and hockey masks. Nuked as the place may look it is a long way from bleak, with the cell-shaded graphics bringing colourful cartoon jollity to the dustiest of canyon or stickiest of slaughters.

The four characters to choose from are familiar basic classes. There is the Soldier with a penchant for assault rifles and the ability to drop a sentry gun, a Long Ranger who will do better with pistols or sniper rifles and comes with a nasty little winged pet as a special attack. Also there is the Phasewalker who would be recognised (and burned) as a Witch in other RPGs, who can become invisible or effectively slow down time, and the man-mountain Melee Tank who is better with explosive weapons but you wouldnt like him when hes angry. Once chosen, the appearance of your character can only be changed in as much as their three basic costume colours, as there is no system of armour or apparel. The simple skill tree is comprised entirely of passive skills that add percentage point to your special skill, up clip sizes, or reduce cool-down and reload times. There is very little in the way of appreciable customisation, and by the end of a play through you will likely have all of the skills unlocked, or at least all of the ones you are at all interested in.

As you play though, your interaction with the characters will be limited to accepting their quest or not no narrative difference will be made if you take or ignore all the side quests, and there isnt a karma or morality system. Its all just loot and corpses behind you. Your only motivation is ever more cash for bigger guns. And do you know what you do with the bigger guns? Go and splatter the nearest boss bandito and take his bigger, shinier gun and cash. Repeat.

This sounds like a recipe for tedium, but Borderlands remains compelling right the way through by appealing to our most basic and craven instincts. Loot. Loot and slaughter in fact. There is an incalculably vast array of guns on offer in Borderlands, largely due to what looks like a random weapon generation routine as was used to create random weapons in Diablo, as well as a large selection of set epic and legendary weapons. The experience of battling or hoarding your way to obtain a new and beautiful pistol, revolver, shotgun, rifle, sniper, rocket launcher or esoteric alien weapon and then unleashing it on the previously difficult enemy is a tangy, dirty satisfaction that will carry you right the way through the 25 or so hours of gameplay.

The random generation routines will base the weapon's appearance on its properties, which will mean each will look as novel and satisfying as they handle. Any revolver you find may come with a 2, 3, or 6 shot cylinders, any number of damage or accuracy buffs or de-buffs, a variety of scope strengths, reload rates, firing rates, critical hit chances, recoil values and a host of other curious little effects. Even the most casual gamer will be able to appreciate how their new piece handles just by blazing off a few rounds into the sky, rocks or a passing bandit or if youre a more considered shopper you can troll through your inventory and see how it measures up and do some tactical selection.

The stripped-down, immediate gratification version of RPG that Borderlands operates is evident in what is the closest the game comes to individual character development via Weapon Proficiencies. Killing enough villains with a type of weapon will increase your proficiency with it, increasing damage, accuracy and ammo reserves. The higher levels require the player to have preferred one type of weapon for most of the game, but this is unobtrusive as if you have been distributing that much lead with one class of weapon it will be because that was what felt good in the first place, rather than a grind to achieve a desired status of upgrade.

Borderlands is entirely about gratification, with an RPG mechanic working in the background only in order to reward you for your murdering ways and to lend the next instalment of slaughter a sense of freshness and homicidal acquisitiveness. The passive upgrade system will not get in your way, nor will the open and simple inventory. The quests will come with a big fat directional reticule on your compass in case you get lost, the map will be filled in already when you arrive on a new level. You will have the option to walk across the wasteland, bounce across it in free and heavily armed vehicles, or simply warp from frequent save point to save point. Everything is designed to provide the minimum friction between you and your next freakish, amusing target. Even death proves little impediment to the gunplay: if both your fast recharging shield and your health reaches zero, you will be given the chance to catch your Second Wind. This works a lot like the Last Stand perk in COD: Modern Warfare multiplayer - your character will sink to their knees and the screen will fade over the next 20 or so seconds as you bleed out. However, kill any other enemy on screen and you will leap back to your feet with fully recharged shields, free to go back hammering at the heavy individual who actually put you down. Most of the gigantic boss battles will be seasoned with a smattering of otherwise ineffectual peons whose only purpose is to have their heads blown off and put you back into the game versus the big bad, be they dinosaurs, maniacal pygmies, cyborgs, gun runners, mutants, or Mothra. Death itself will only cost you a small percentage of your cash no XP penalty or Resurrection Sickness and a respawn at a close by point.

Borderlands is perfectly satisfying as a singleplayer experience, but some of your best slaughtering will be done in the drop-in co-op mode, where online players can invite you to join their game, or you can drop into theirs. The quest progression will follow that of whoever is hosting, but the experience, weapons and cash will be carried over by the individual player, and taken with them when they leave. Whilst there is no loot sharing system, which can make for some irksome treasure hogging, the simplicity of the co-op system is as smooth and satisfying as the rest of the game's design. More players in a game will automatically up the difficulty and the number of hostiles, but will also commensurately up the quality of the drops. Tooling across the bandlands in a vehicle with a live player driving and a live player manning the turrets, smoking mutant fools for no other reason than the cash and the chuckles is hard to beat, and when you or they get bored and leave then you can just get back to the quest progression you were enjoying before.

The worst features of Borderlands are fortunately the ones you can ignore completely. Scattered through the land are player-vs-player arenas where you can throw down against your erstwhile co-op buddies. They are a waste of space in single player and in multiplayer serve no discernable purpose for loot, stats or enjoyment. Additionally, despite the vast mountains of guns youll come across and loot purely for the purpose of later resale, the extremely keen inventory system will always equip one of your hot-keyed slots with the new firearm if you havent found its like before. This can lead to more inventory resetting than the player would want in this otherwise extremely streamlined system.

The colourful, stylised visuals are backed up by a sense of humour in the dialogue and character design. You can ignore anything anyone says, play the whole thing in mute if you so decide for all the difference it will make for your ability to progress, but listening to the few repeat characters such as the helper robots (GIR from Invader Zim, anyone?) helps to make the whole experience that much lighter, more accessible and plain old fun.

Borderlands will not set any benchmarks or push any envelopes in the RPG genre, or even its niche FPS-RPG setting. It simply does not do anything that we have not seen in some form or other elsewhere, nor does any individual element or mechanic uniquely stand out. What it does do is take the most basely satisfying parts of the whole RPG genre and lay them out in a fast moving buffet of bloodshed and looting. The joy of acquisition and dominance inherent to role-playing games is married to the savage joy of slaughtering entire crowds of victi.. sorry villains, and in conclusion I can heartily recommend it.

I'd also like to say that while the console versions are phenomenal as well, the PC version is the one I tried, and was truly impressed, if you can meet the requirements I would definitely go the PC route when playing or buying this game.

85%

Borderlands

2009-11-01T15:46:00.000-08:00

It saves anywhere, and it auto saves your character state at every checkpoint and when you quit. What it doesn't do is save every enemy/item in the world. It works just like Diablo, except we have more frequent waypoints. Quit, when you join again, you'll be at the nearest checkpoint and the enemies will be around, which is good because they are all worth XP and have cash and gear. And if you are second guessing a decision about skill points, you can fully respec your character at any save station in the world at any time.

Some people don't the action RPG style save system, and I guess this reviewer is one of those people. I believe it's the best possible way to handle this kind of game, and any other solution would have failed the promise of the game.

As for "not for everyone"?

Damn right, and proud of it.

Gamefly

2009-10-20T12:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, so gamefly is the shit and its like the price of one rental at blockbuster, fuck them anyways. I recently got a bunch of coupons for people if they are looking to sign up. Later for now, playing some EQ EMU Classic. :)

How To Hack Like A Pro

2009-10-18T03:49:00.000-07:00

Whether you're a college student, a middle-aged networking guru or a wife and mother fascinated by the world of online games - everyone occasionally comes across a situation where some form of hacking would make life a whole lot easier.

Maybe you've lost the license that came with your legitimate software package that you paid for. Maybe you want to make a backup copy of your favorite DVD movie, but there's copy-protection encoded onto the disk. Or
maybe you're just stuck on a popular online game and you want to know if there are any hacks available to level up in the game without the required effort.

Whatever your specific needs or situation - I'm not here to judge. In the field of computers and Internet technologies, just about everything is written in one programming language or another. No programmer is perfect - they all make mistakes. There are back doors, secret codes and vulnerabilities in just about any application you come across. Because of that, if you learn how to hack on your own, or just following the efforts of active hacking communities can provide you with tremendous eye-opening insight into the inner-workings of even your most "trusted" software applications.

Where You Can Go To Learn How To Hack Like a Pro

One thing that's obvious when you visit the websites where professional hackers hang out - there's so much about programming that even the most seasoned professional programmers don't know. Professional hackers are an exceptional, amazing and terrible breed of individuals all packaged into one. While I write this, I realize that I am also describing over half of our readership - you know who you are! These folks take programming to an extreme that's simply astounding when you see it in action.

While many of us write applications using all of the standard techniques that you learn in programming classes in college, these folks take programming into a realm where there are no rules. They can test all aspects of an application until they find a chink in the armor, and then exploit those vulnerabilities.

As we explore the world of hacking, it should be noted that there are two major forms of hacking - we'll call it "white hat" and "black hat." The "white hat" hackers call themselves "ethical hackers," in that they find vulnerabilities and exploits only to make the programming and
application communities more secure for everyone. However, there's a whole other community of hackers who find vulnerabilities to do nothing more than exploit them as much as humanly possible. Now that you know what sort of community you may be entering, let's get on with the list of top sites where you can learn how to hack.#1 - CyberXtreme: Hacking and Warez

CyberXtreme is an impressive forum with a significant hacking section, but also entire sections on technology, graphics and even a tech support area. Here you'll find cracks, secret codes, free download packages (some containing cracked software which may be illegal to download in your area, so be careful). The forum is very protective of its content, so you'll have to register with a valid email address before you can even get a glimpse of the content that's on the forums.

The hacking section is very detailed and, as shown above, includes not only free tools and software exploits, but if you want to learn some coding tricks from the resident hacking gurus, just enter the "Coding & Programming" forum and you'll get your fill. Before long you'll be writing up your own customized hacking tools!#2 - EvilZone Hacking Forums

While the name, EvilZone, isn't exactly the most inviting - it is easily one of the largest forum communities that you'll find on the subject of hacking. With over 6,500 members and over 100,000 posts (and counting), this community likely has the skills and knowledge to answer any programming question you could possibly have. Just be careful about coming across as a "noob" - these guys don't handle newcomers with kid gloves, so be careful.

You'd definitely be best off working through the programming and encyclopedia sections first, where you'll find projects, tutorials and a lot more that will help you become educated and well-versed in hacking techniques and terminology.#3 - Hack a Day

While I certainly don't want to offer a nod to any blogs that may be considered competition, you really have to give credit where credit is due when it comes to a particular niche like hacking - and Hack a Day definitely offers an amazing library of information for anyone looking for specific categories like cellphones, GPS or digital cameras. You'll find all hacks organized by category in the right column.

More than any other site, this particular "hacking" site is very much hardware based, and they redefine the meaning of the word hacking by literally hacking up electronic devices like a Gameboy
or a digital camera and completely modifying it. Of course you'll still find the occasional software hack, such as how to remove the Blackberry download limit.

While I personally don't find the articles themselves very detailed (as an EE, I like schematics and elaborate descriptions) - but the site makes up for it with video demonstrations throughout.#4 - Hack In The Box

If any site could be classified as the most comprehensive site to learn how to hack, this would be it. Hack In The Box is more about security and ethical hacking than anything else - and that's more than obvious reviewing the classes and conferences listed on the main page.

The manage page is an informational portal that includes information from all other areas, including recent forum posts, conference updates, E-zine and news articles and a lot more. To be honest, there's so much information stuffed on the main page that it's almost overwhelming.

There's a lot of material available, but if you've so interested in learning how to hack that you wouldn't mind paying to attend a class or a conference - then this is the place to do it.#5 - Hack This Site!

As always, saving the best for last - I'd like to introduce Hack This Site! This website is one of the coolest, free programmer training sites where you can learn how to hack accepting one of the challenges.

The site designers offer various "missions," where you need to figure out the vulnerability of a site and then attempt to use your new-found hacking skills (you've carefully studied all of the articles on the site, right?) to hack the web page. Missions include Basic, Realistic, Application, Programming and many others.

If you're able to figure out how to properly hack any of the most difficult missions on this site, then you've definitely earned the title of professional hacker.

Have you ever tried any of the tips offered at any of these websites and do they work? Do you have any good resources of your own for readers to learn how to hack like the pros? Share your insight in the comments section below.

Remember to check out all of this and more is from this book., Hacking: The Art of Exploitation, 2nd Edition

Left 4 Dead 2 Preview

2009-10-11T11:50:00.001-07:00

It came sooner than most people thought (most zombie invasions do; let's be honest) but Left 4 Dead 2 is on the way, and EA is again showing the game off to press, this time in Tokyo, Japan for the yearly super game bonanza TGS. While the level itself has been seen previously– Dark Carnival– this is personally my first time playing the sequel, and as a gigantic fan of Valves first zombie action thriller (I got the"What are you trying to prove"achievement. The answer? Zombies>Girlfriends) I just had to jump in and give it a try.My analysis so far? It's more of the same, if the same is mega kick ass and wicked awesome cool. Hopefully Valve saved room for the back of the box with that quote, because it's damn true.

Fear will grip you... and then try to rip your head off.

True, Left 4 Dead 2 is nearly identical in feel, but it's also a blast to again step into the shoes of four doomed individuals. One of the game's main credos this time around is"When we run out of bullets, they'll wish we hadn't"and of course melee combat is at large, but even with the added blunt objects and oh-so-lovely chainsaw– not to mention the increased amount of limb damage and blood– the game truly feels like Left 4 Dead always did. Good for those that wanted five more story modes, and maybe a little disappointed for others who wanted more DLC for the original game, rather than a $60 re-up this soon after launch.With that being said, there wasn't a second of time I spent in L4D2 that I wasn't having a good time. The game was still set to normal by default, and while it wasn't as hectic as it could have been it was also nice to still be standing after a few inevitable friendly fire slugs found their way into my back. Weaponry this time around included the auto-shotgun, silenced SMG (like the old one, now with stealth zombie kills), dual pistols, and some melee weapon goodness. I had a chance to try out both the crowbar and the chainsaw, though after a quick use with the latter of the two it ran out of juice and was deemed worthless by the zombie-sacking crew of four. The chainsaw works as you'd expect– standard point and click interface, with the"click"resulting in a wonderfully bloody mess– but as a nice little addition the crowbar is also an instant switch. So yes, while you don't have the comfort of a couple pistols by your side, the classic Half Life crowbar never runs out of ammo, and it's available rightwhen you need it. I do enjoy.As for the level itself, Dark Carnival starts players off on a main road blocked by piles of cars. The only way to traverse the area and make your way to the popcorn-filled promised land is by making your way down a hill, into a small river and forest area, and then up through a motel. As you'd assume the area is filled with many an infected, so after a few hundred justice bullets the team made its way through the river and up into the hotel. The motel itself is a classic"open"setup, having each room lead outside, so the parking lot and surrounding area turns into an obvious deathtrap for those stupid enough to rush in (ie: half my team this time around). After grabbing a suspiciously placed hunting rifle up on top of a billboard, myself and a teammate shot round after round into zombies from a safe distance why my"friends"were used as impromptu live bait. After that we went room-to-room and cleaned up, moving on from there. We went through the forest again, and eventually made our way to the creepily awesome carnival.As for the infected themselves, I had a chance to see the new specials in action, including the returning hunter (unchanged really) and the charger, spitter, and jockey. The charger is basically a smaller version of the tank, used to plow through zombies and shove survivors around the map, pinning them and pummeling them into the ground after a nice little ride away from the group. A few quick shots take them down no problem. I actually mistook the spitter fora smoker at first (though he does glow), and despite having some cool area damage they actually seem a bit redundant (they aren't as lethal as the smoker, in my opinion, as the smoker essentially isolates like the charger and does second-by-second damage as well). As for the jockey, what I saw was pretty hilarious, and worked well. He jumps onto allies (not me, since I rock at the game) and then runs them into a larger group of infected; nice. I didn't have a chance to see a boomer unfortunately, and a quick run-in with the witch proved to be slightly disappointing (despite the mention of free-roaming witches this one was stationary when we happened up on her), but as I said before, more Left 4 Dead is never a bad thing. The final quick observation I've got comes with dismemberment. There's certainly a bit more zombie limbs flying around than in the previous game, but it could also be taken a bit further as well. There were still definitely times when I'd hit an infected in a limb with a strong weapon (rifle, shotgun) and not get a limb detachment. Fallen zombies are also still "hollow" when dead, so there's no beating them into chunks after they fall like the very satisfying Dead Space, Fallout 3, and a few other"this gen"games.As always, Left 4 Dead was a blast to play, so while not much has changed since the first game, I was still pissed to hand off the controller when we were finished, and can't wait to jump back into Valve's ass kicking zombie shooter.

Even though the things here in L4D2 should have been been the first Left 4 Dead, this is definitley an update if you do not like the first one, or feel the first one did not have enough/the right content.

You can pre-order Left4Dead 2 for XBOX 360 or PC. The PC version includes an exclusive demo along with a unique pre-order customer's only baseball bat to homerun your zombie's heads!

PC: Left 4 Dead 2

XBOX 360: Left 4 Dead 2

Pokemon Net Battle

2009-10-08T23:54:00.001-07:00

Join me on Pokemon Net Battle guys!

How to Repair Xbox 360 Problems Fast

2009-10-08T23:52:00.001-07:00

You might have thought that once your Xbox 360 started to display error messages you would have to send it back to the store or else buy a new one, but what you are about to read might surprize. The fact is that about 30% of Xbox 360 owners are experiencing some king of error with their console. These errors range from freezing, one two three and four red light error, the E74 error and the dreaded red ring of death. If you are one of the millions of other Xbox 360 owners who are suffering with one of the errors and would like to know how to fix Xbox 360 errors fast, then read of because today I am going to show you exactly how you can get your Xbox 360 errors fixed once and for all.

There are a number of different causes for Xbox 360 errors. Each individual error has its own cause. While I won't bore you with the details of what is causing your Xbox 360 error, you should know that the majority of these errors are the result of your console poor cooling system. As your console heats up, the internal components will vibrate and accordingly, can become displaced. I know what you are thinking, enough about why the errors are happening, just tell me what I need to know in order to fix Xbox 360 errors fast.

Well the answer might be as simple as taking your Xbox 360 out from where it is being stored and letting it "breath". This might solve the error problem as easily as that. However, if it does not, then you will have to consider your alternative options.

Essentially, you have two choices when your console malfunctions and taking steps to cool it down doesn't work. You can either perform a do it yourself repair, or you can send it back to Microsoft who will repair the problem for you. If your warrantee has not expired and you don`t mind losing access to your console for 4-8 weeks you might consider simply sending your console back to Microsoft. The cost is relatively nominal (just the cost of shipping and handling) and it is guaranteed to work, or you can just send it back again.

If you are a fanatic who can`t go up to two months without using your console, or if your warrantee has expired, your next best option is purchasing an Xbox 360 repair guide. These repair guides will take you through the repair process at home and will have you up and running again in about 30 minutes.

When searching for the repair guide that is right for you, remember the following two points:

1. A high quality Xbox 360 repair guide can be downloaded from your home computer in just seconds, they costs about $25-$30 and comes with a 100% money back guarantee.

2. The top of the line repair guides also come with instructional videos so you can follow along and avoid the confusion of complicated instruction manuals.

As you can see, the only way to fix Xbox 360 errors fast is to take matters into your own hands. It is not surprising why performing a do it yourself fix, is becoming the preferred method for Xbox 360 owners to fix Xbox 360 errors fast.

The best way to fix xbox 360 errors fast is with an inexpensive repair guide.

Click Here to try a risk free Xbox 360 repair guide that will have your Xbox back up and running properly in no time.

Batman Arkham Asylum: Review

2009-10-01T04:38:00.000-07:00

In 2009 the newest addition of the Batman video game series was released, called Batman: Arkham Asylum. In this game the basic story is you are Batman, you caught Joker and you are taking him back to Arkham Asylum. Batman notices that he caught the Joker much too easily and thinks that he has something up his sleeve. He was right. Once you get back to the Arkham Asylum island, the real fun starts to begin. Joker has had tons of time to plan his schemes that spring into action once he is taken in and suddenly he slips free.

You don't really know what to expect when you start the game and may not see the vast scope of this game right off the bat (haha no pun intended). You get to see most of the villains in the Batman universe who all have been captured by Batman and have been imprisoned at Arkham Asylum. Common faces such as the Riddler have their moments where you hear from them, but you never actually see the Riddler in the game (sorry for the spoiler), you actually just solve his puzzles. The Scarecrow is another one of the villiains that you do not really see a lot of, but he does get his time to shine. I'd like to add here that I think the reason they took out most of the common faces is because well, they are common! People are bored with the ones we seen in the movies, so its nice that they introduce some new characters to those who may not be aware of them.

The gameplay of Batman: Arkham Asylum is fantastic. You can play it like a stealth action game or a straight beat-em-up. (This game will seriously make you feel like a badass!) Of course it wants to you play it as a stealth action because that's what Batman does, he hides in the shadows and takes out his foes one by one and instilling fear into the rest.

The combat is amazing too because you do feel like you are Batman. You beat the bad guys down very fluidly and with ease but if they have guns - watch out! Since you don't have guns you may want to target those guys first. (I can only hope Assassin's Creed 2 is similar with the fighting)

All in all Batman: Arkham Asylum is a must play for any Batman fan. Even if you aren't a Batman fan this game will be a great addition to your collection because it is just so much fun and has tons of side-quests for you to do as well, even after you beat the living shit out of this game.

You can pick up Arkham Asylum on Amazon for 44.99 for PC or 52.99 for Xbox and PS3.

PC: Edios Batman: Arkham Asylum

Xbox: Eidos Batman: Arkham Asylum

PS3: Eidos Batman: Arkham Asylum

How To Install A Video Card

2009-10-01T02:43:00.001-07:00

From time to time I get asked to help build someone's computer or put it all together etc. Most of this is pretty easy, no easier than putting Lego's together, but I have put together a little mini-tutorial for those who aren't sure what to do.

OK I thought since I have done this myself many times before I would explain to people from my own personal point of view on how it's done .........

Introduction: Make sure you have everything you need, starting with anti-static-wrist strap, some Philips non-magnetic screwdrivers, and your graphics card .

Step 1 : Before you install the card you have to know where it goes, now because most people in this day and age have PCI-E cards I will focus on them.... look carefully at image 1 , you will notice i have highlighted a part in green , that part is the port you will be installing your graphics card today

Once you have carefully looked at the image 1, you should then open up your computer now, depending on what brand your computer is, it should be fairly simple, at the back of your computer, you should notice some screws or a catch of some kind, unscrew the screws, or flick the catch and gently slide off the side panel , NOTE: Always be sure that your computer is unplugged from the mains the slightest shock could hurt you and your computer.

Now you have looked at the image carefully, it's time to get a good look at your graphics card. I find studying it before you insert it will achieve optimal results without messing anything up, now I have labelled the card for good measure, you will see I have labelled what inserts into the PCI-E bus , and the main power connector insert as well as the power cable head itself, take a while to familiarize yourself with this image.

Now you have looked and studied both images, you are ready to insert the card into your computer.

Now make sure you have your anti-static wrist strap on and make sure you're grounded, take the card out of the box, and gently insert into your PCI-Express slot, now be careful not to touch any other components in your computer, there is a part at the end of the card that should hook in first, then you should hear a click to know it's in nice and firm, now find the 4 pin power connector show in the 2nd image, and plug it into the power socket also shown in the 2nd image. Once you have done that, screw the card in look at the image i have shown you, this person is screwing in his card, do the same thing.

Now once you have done that shut your case back up, plug your computer back into the mains, plug your TV out socket in and you're set to go, as soon as you have installed it, insert the disc and install your drivers there should be a CD that came with the card.

Any questions, feel free to comment. I will surely get back to you.

BTW: I bought this card 3 months ago for 220 and never looked back. (Wish I could get 2)

Left 4 Dead Update

2009-10-01T02:28:00.000-07:00

So it seems they have finally thrown something in for the campaigners. Its about time I must say. Personally, I haven't tried it yet but at least its something right? For those who haven't heard about it, it is called Crash Course. I will be reviewing it later this week, but for the meantime I would like to ask; who here thinks they could have at least thrown in some more content before barging off and making a whole new damn game? Also, who will be buying Left 4 Dead 2 in November? With that and AC2 coming out, its going to be a busy winter eh? Later for now guys. Let me know your thoughts!

Joana's Leveling Guide Review

2009-09-30T02:43:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has played World of Warcraft, knows that the game is forever being modified. Every chance you get to turn around the corner, there is some rev or patch that either; A, Realigns things or B, completely screws over the whole system. Someone please tell me the point of purchasing a book from your local GameStop (ugh I can't stand them) that is going to be no good in a few months much less a year (my opinion is anyone who gets the guide is getting it for flavor value on the day of release, like a collector's item). I say this because most of the time the in-store guide is usually some BradyGames crap put together to help you do nothing but waste your time. And that my friends, is where the online guides come in because they are written by players like us!

Below I am going to introduce to you what is included in the Horde Guide:

I have had very good experiences with Joana, its a guide I even recommend to my real-life friends and they actually used it. The membership to Joana will give you updates whenever there is a new patch or daemon. You receive access to over 100s of videos of the quests that you will need to take down as well as tricks and tips to get you through rough spots. Joana gives you a step-by-step tutorial session so you have zero questions about your level.

Even if you are looking for maps or a few additional guides, you can find those here also. Her guide also has a special Blood Elf section starting in Eversong. After doing this guide once, you should have no problems ever again on where you should go to level or how to get there. Its like a bot but you do the real work. Pictures are included in the guide so you actually see where you have to go or where you will have to go in the future accordingly. Visual aides are great when you are trying to level up very quickly in order to progress.

This manual is actually VERY detailed, in the manner that I consider this woman insane for even putting the amount of time she did in it. Really. Nothing here has been left out at all so you can feel very confident that you are getting the most recent information that is available, updated on the fly right after every patch on Tuesdays. WotLK should take you about 3 days to level from 70-80 using this guide, catching up to your friends quickly if you are left behind. This guide without a doubt is one of THE best WoW guides out there, hands down. There is a reason Joana has sold more than anyone in the MMO guide market today, and this is it.

In all honesty, I would have to say that if you are sketchy on getting Dugi's guide, I would not hesitate to get this one. You can ask the WoW community and theres generally very nice feedback on Joana. I personally would have to say that Dugi's here still gets my vote since it has more info on the non-PvE side of the game. For a bit steeper of a price, I would definately go with Dugi's. However, if you are just looking to blast through the levels at record time, then this might be the one. I rate it 8 out of 10.

Dugi's WoW Guide Review

2009-09-29T17:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, so as promised I said I would give a review today on some popular Warcraft guides. Now bare with me because this is one of the only ones I actually tried and was happy with. Joana's is great for leveling, but that is about it. Most guides do not go into depth about what to do once you hit 80, this one gives you all of it.

This guide was written by Dave Farrell or otherwise known as Dugi. This guy is a true veteran of World of Warcraft like a lot of us, with one of the highest play time ratings on any server (roughly 8,000 hours in-game). Now that may not sound like much since we all have battled the addiction of WoW, but let me say that he is honest and at least brave for admitting it. Dugi was one of the first gamers to actually produce a power-leveling guide, a PVP guide, along with most recently his Gold farming guide. Dugi now offers all these guides, either separate or part of a combo-deal, under the name Ultimate WoW Guide.

Dugi's Gold Guide

Dave/Dugi's gold farming guide differs most from other farming guides because it is presented as an interactive website and streaming video series, in place of your occasional eBook style. This alone sold me and was a great method for interactive teaching, and combined with the other tutorials it leaves you in no doubt how to replicate to produce better results.

Some if not most of the techniques explored by Dugi here are unique with this guide, however it must be noted that the farming techniques are not explored as fully as this in other guides such as Joana's. This is not to say that the other guide misses out on anything, but it should be noted that it might not benefit advanced farmers as much as other guides can and will.

Most new players will benefit from not only learning how to become a great farmer of gold and riches, but also a great and effective power leveler and PVPer. This makes this combo-guide a perfect choice for anyone who just started the World of Warcraft game up and enhance their rich, gameplaying experience.

Leveling Guide:

Dugi's guide offers an amazing in-game leveling plugin for both Horde and Alliance factions. Using a directional arrow and customizations, this will direct your character to the quests they need to accept and complete to level in the quickest and fastest way possible.

This guide offers many of the same features included in most popular leveling guides, but also insists additional guidance that is not included in those other leveling guides. The In-Game Talent guide, Class Gear Guide, and Levels 60-80 Instance guides are all examples of how the author (Dave Farrell) has thought more about the needs of the gamer and also delivers greatly according to those needs throughout this guide.

PVP Guide:

In all honesty, I don't really PVP. HOWEVER, I feel that if you need a guide to PvP you should probably study your opponents more; Battlegrounds are a great place to do this and will enhance your reflexes greatly when battling other players. This is where I learned before Arenas, and since we all know World PvP is pretty much dead, this is where you should be going. I know what I am good at, and I stick to it and that is farming gold. Honestly, when do you see a banker going to war? That is how I like to look at PvP, it isn't much of my thing here since it has long died out and I have evolved around the game. Instead of trying to seduce you into the fact that I may know PvP mechanics, I suggest you view the guide for yourself to learn more about the PVP strategy guide.

That completes my review for today's guide, tomorrow I will try to post up on Joana's and its pros and cons. I hope you enjoyed the reading, I am always open to comments on what I should add or take away of course.

You can click the banner or go here to read testimonials, view sample chapters and of course, learn more about the guide in general.

Apologies!

2009-09-29T03:20:00.000-07:00

I have been uber busy lately with juggling work and school, don't think I forgot about all of you! I will be posting some reviews of some of the world's most popular World of Warcraft guides, some you may have heard of, or may not have. Either way, you get to hear about it! By the way, any TF2 Players here? Still trying to get that damn 8 friend achievement. ;)

Religion and Christianity

2009-09-08T06:40:00.000-07:00

Religion really interests me, I believe that most people do not understand how a lot of it works. I am not some bible-thumping fundamentalist, nor an atheist. However, I recently have come across a great post in which I think it gives a good spice on making some understand how religion may really work. In this case we look at Weev's original story:

"What Christianity means to me

I was recently having an ethics debate where someone said that Christianity was "just what the greeks taught, but dumbed down". I heartily disagreed, and I wanted to put my reasons to text while I still remembered them.

Christianity is the ethics of the great Greek classics, for sure. It owes almost all its ethical lineage to those boys in limbo. There's something deeper than that. Jesus isn't just about ethics. He's about passion, love, and most of all, he's about being a time-traveling gangster.

I grew up poor. I know what it is like to go without food, or wear the same pair of shoes until they smell and have holes in them. When you're poor, you make poor friends. Let's say you and I grew up in the same trailer park. Our buddies had this friend named Chris. Chris always hung out with the shadiest people. He knew every hooker, hustler and scammer in the tri-state area. Despite that, Chris was the most loving, most real human being we'd ever met. He'd sometimes feed us 10 strips of acid and take us out to the woods to set off some explosives. He'd have our backs when the rich kids tried to beat us up. When we were hungry, he would give us food.

Most importantly, Chris gave us a sense of justice. "Man, those fuckin' Jews with their media and their Federal Reserve-- they have all the money and what do they do with it? Run this country into the ground. Try to program every man to be a slave to behaviorism and every daughter that isn't theirs to be a whore. Things ain't right."

Chris would also give us hope. "This fuckin shithole-- this fuckin' park. You're better than that. You're a good German kid. There's kings in your lineage. You deserve better. Fuck anyone who says otherwise. Your parents are assholes, your teachers are assholes, and you know what? You're an asshole too. But you deserve better. All of you." Chris made us think there was something important in our lives beyond the shitty trailer and the shitty family and the mac and cheese six nights a week.

One day, Chris takes too much acid. Freaks out. Starts going into banks, knocking shit over. "You fucking morons! You're agents of the subjugation and slavery of your neighbors! Don't you fuckin' see! Wake the fuck up, stop fucking ruining lives!" He breaks into the vault, burns all the money. Not interested in a cent of it.

Chris goes to prison. After he's gone, we all realize what a difference he made in our lives. Without Chris, the walls of our trailers seem really small. We spend our days somber and sad. Then one day, someone says, "let's throw a party". We all eat a little acid, and tell stories about Chris. We'd laugh, we'd remember when our lives were more complete. And through repeating his words about justice, truth, love and hope, we found these in ourselves.

And we'd wait. We'd count the days. Until Chris got out of jail.

And that, my friends, is the basis of all Christianity."

Mario Kart Wii

2009-09-08T06:39:00.001-07:00

If you try Mario with various players Kart Wii over WiFi, therefore you will be raised in feet with we as we say that it is between the best experiences online you' of game; of ll the experience never in this world. L' eccitamento of participation against the gamers connects and of race against of they during several tracks it is really strengthening. As soon as as to excite it is a game with various players of Mario Kart Wii? It describes this: been controlling Mario' the favorite of s goes kart-style runner and you' king dragging to according to place on the final turn. You' the king gain speed and avails again in the place of the pole is in sight. To know that you will be able pip on the following curving, since the fast directions of turn are your specialty. The curving comes, you is of right to their tail. Increased gas and the inverts simultaneously. Turns the right of the direction and the small wheel beyond the enemy. Such it is l' eccitamento that can be had in a game with various players of Mario Kart Wii. You will not make competition against the PC I. You will play against people real from the different regions of the planet. They are living, breathing, cognitive players who will answer consequently to the plans d' action met through every race. This renders every game more provocative and in order to conclude, completing. Aspired to become a better player than Mario Kart Wii? Here they are some tips will help that it improve your game: - Purchases mastery of the ' saetti up start.' This is a clip of every game of Mario Kart. With happening to pull outside dall' beginning of the rocket will give an edge to it in advance payment in the race. In order to detach l' beginning of the rocket, you reward the key quickly dell' accelerator as the timer counts down to 2. You must perfect your synchronization however, as to be disinserito for a pure millisecond it will ruin the technique. - The crashs are avoided more well. As well as like umanemente possible, evit to diare to meet with other adversaries since this it will slow down your speed and it will demand time before that aument to finoare once to your advanced part more. Rather than running parallel with an other player, the test and the strascica, thus you' the d it knows where they are raised in feet. Then it surpasses your enemy when yours he amplifies the power is ready. Making this, you' the ll it is far away davanti they and outside capacity d' arrest when the push relents. - The sense Learns to go to the drift or to learn like leaving in order to go of the key dell' accelerator. The majority of the gamers is only impaziente. They must over using the times of the gas to the maximum and making to work over every taken in a course, comprised the walls on the curvings. However, you will not be able to detach the majority of the turns all' high speed. You will have to learn the sense to go to the drift or left in order to go dell' order dell' accelerator to delay it a tip down, in order to make the unexpected turns found in Mario Kart Wii enough.